By Mary Jaksch
Ok, folks – we’re back to writing school. An important piece of advice that many writing tutors give is to ‘show not tell’. But how exactly do you do that?
What’s the trick? What’s the secret?
Because, it’s the bits that show and don’t tell that stick like burrs. Months later, you still can’t get the darn things out of your mind. Here’s an example:
A while ago I asked on the A-list Blogger Club forum for help with a particular task. I got this response from Jean Sarauer of Virgin Blogger Notes:
I’ve already got one foot on a banana peel and the other one in Meltdown City, so I’ll have to pass. Dang it.
Her response was definitely memorable. (Check out Jean’s related post How to Get Off the Meltdown City Express.)
Ok, then – how to show and not tell?
I’ve been reading a novel by Meg Gardiner, a new rising star of the suspense genre – which is what I tend to read when I’m trying to get off that Meltdown City Express. I tried reading Meg’s The Memory Collector while lolling in the bath. But in the middle of the first page I lurched to my feet – sloshing water all over the floor – and hollered for help: “Bring me a pen, quick!” Her writing is so exciting, I was desperate to scrawl all over the page and highlight the best bits for you.
Tip #1 Use familiar words in a weird context
Let’s take the word ‘unfriendly’. As a practice run, write down five sentences that include the word ‘unfriendly’. Now check how you used the word. Most likely you will have used it to describe human interactions. In contrast, here’s how Meg Gardiner uses it:
The garage was cold and the bare bulb gave off unfriendly light. Vance jittered in a circle around them.
‘Are we screwed?’
That single work ‘unfriendly’ creates atmosphere. You know immediately that these are bad guys and something ugly is going to happen. Soon.
Tip #2: Put characters into a weird context
Whether you’re writing a novel or non-fiction, try putting the people you talk about in a weird context. Here’s Meg Gardiner again:
Ginrich’s girlfriend, Clare, was thin and nervous. So were the three Chihuahuas jumping around her feet like grease in a frying pan.
With those three doglets jumping around here feet, Clare’s character comes to life.
Tip #3: Use weird metaphors
If you connect two disparate ideas, the brain jangles. That’s why using ‘weird’ metaphors makes your writing memorable. Here’s Meg Gardiner again:
The man grabbed him. This guy was square with a gray buzz cut like a concrete brick.
You know immediately that this is an ugly character. Definitely not the kind of person you’d like to encounter in a park after dark…
I think these three examples show how potent the ‘weird’ trick is.
How about we all get together and collect more examples?
You could write something and use the ‘weird context’ trick. Or maybe you can find some great examples in the stuff that you read.
Please share your treasures in the comments below, friends. Feel free to link to your own stuff :-)
Mary Jaksch is the Chief Editor of Write to Done. Enjoy more of her posts on her blog Goodlife ZEN and join Leo Babauta and Mary in the A-List Blogger Club (we’re accepting new members right now).





