By Mary Jaksch
What are you working on right now?
A blog post? A novel? Your best article ever? A poem? A film script? An Ebook?
Maybe you’ve just finished something you’re really proud of? Or you just can’t tell whether it should get a Pulitzer or be thrown into the trash?
Or maybe you’re noticing some barriers that are getting in the way of your creativity?
Here’s your chance to share and discuss with each other what you are writing about. And how it’s going.
Whet our appetite with the opening paragraph of your future bestseller, give us a link to your best article, or tell us what you are writing at the moment.
Who knows, your piece might even attract the notice of a major publishing house!
Here are some guidelines:
A. Writers:
- State what aspect you’re working on. For example, you might want to say, “Here’s a link to my article “The Role of Rabbits in Nuclear Science”. I’m currently working on eliminating superfluous words.”
B. Commenters:
- When commenting, first list everything you really like about a piece.
- Only then offer careful suggestions.
- Treat each other with respect, friendliness, care, and honesty.
- Remember that we are all still learning.
Now it’s over to you. Take a deep breath. Then jump into the comment section and bring out your treasures!
Mary Jaksch is the Editor in Chief of Write to Done and writes the blog Goodlife ZEN. Together with Leo Babauta, Mary runs a spectacular training environment for bloggers: the A-List Blogger Club.
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Hi,
I’ve been working on a novel for a while now and I’m in the process of submitting it to agents. I’d really like some opinions and/or advice on my synopsis. I don’t know if it fits the criteria! It’s pasted below. Thank you in advance.
A Matter of Trust (synopsis)
A chance sighting in an English wood • A violent encounter in Dublin • A murder in Edinburgh
After spending more than a decade in jail for a brutal murder Jack is out of prison and returning to his home town. What starts as a brief stopover on the eve of his new life in Ireland turns into a dangerous game of hide and seek between Jack, his former best friend and the father of his victim.
Jack is desperate to escape the haunting memories of his previous existence and the time he murdered the girl he loved. But with his old schoolmate in hot pursuit, and the father of his victim pushed to the brink of insanity, how far must Jack go to protect his future?
The lives of these three men are relentlessly twisted out of shape in a story about insanity, friendship and fresh starts.
Hi Rachel – The part that made me want to know what happened was “the time he murdered the girl he loved.” Now I’m curious! Who would do that? I think you could play off that more in your synopsis. It makes me want to read the book. Can you expand on that at all?
Good luck to you and thanks for sharing!
Hi Rachel. This sounds like a real thriller. A sympathetic main character who has also committed a brutal murder? Some complex characterisation must have gone into that. I’d say more about him. What’s he like now? You hint at insanity, but what makes him sympathetic? That would be my focus. If it’s the page-turner it looks to be from the synopsis, I’m sure you’ll get picked up.
Hmmmm. I’ve been working on a memoir about the divorce that nearly knocked the stuffing out of both my life (and my blog!) a few years ago…
My agent at the time suggested the language was a bit too cutesy and not nearly miserable enough to qualify as the “misery” memoir he wanted it to be. But a girl can’t help not being miserable enough now can she?
Here’s the first couple of paragraphs…be kind.
On the Richter scale of marital discord, arguments about bacon don’t feature very highly. You could, you see, shove a slice of back bacon between two slices of white cardboard, drown it in ketchup and call it it lunch. Or you could, should you be so inclined, break apart a warm ciabatta and smother it in organic cranberry jelly, layer it with a tangle of watercress, and fill it with the finest bacon and brie you could find at the local farmers market. And what you will have on your hands as a result is a little piece of heaven best served on a gilt edged vintage plate with a linen napkin and the slightly demented smile of a woman trying to stitch her life together with culinary prowess, domestic divinity and a Cath Kidston pinny.
You see it turns out the whole bacon thing is a precarious business. Get it right and marital bliss is yours for the eating. Get it wrong and before you know it you are hurtling towards single mummyhood without so much as a thanks for all the fish. Me? I got it wrong. On a rainy Thursday afternoon in April, I made the mistake of choosing the bacon and brie ciabatta and watched the plate go crashing across the dining room and what was, for all intents and purposes, a marriage, crumble faster than you can say french bread.
Somedays, you see, a man just wants a bacon buttie. Why was it so difficult for me to understand that? Why did everything I ever did have to come wrapped in fripperie and nonsense? Why couldn’t I just be GODDAMN NORMAL?
It was a question I’d asked myself all too often.
But Mark and I were crabs. We were meant to mate for life. The fact that we were only mating once in a merlot soaked blue moon was hardly the issue as far as I was concerned because I believed in us. With the same passion that I believed in Father Christmas and the flossy little fairies sure to be dancing around my daffodils. And not only that, but twenty thousand American housewives believed in us too. My blog about our scrumptious little family in all our quirky glory was going from strength to strength. And twenty thousand American housewives couldn’t be wrong could they?
Hi Alison,
I really like the opening to this memoir. Your bacon sarnie analogy is a good one and gives a comic twist to an otherwise sad situation. I found the final paragraph a little confusing – maybe it introduces too many ideas and images?
I was surprised to read about your agent’s comment. Why does a book about divorce have to be miserable? Why can’t it be funny, positive and life affirming? I know divorce isn’t naturally a happy subject but I think a positive (ish) account will do more good for the author and the readers!
I hope this helps but please note, I am not an expert on memoirs!
Hi Alison,
I agree with Rachel, except about the last paragraph. I don’t believe you introduced too many ideas. I think the awkwardness is created by the feeling of sudden randomness created by referring to you and your ex as crabs. That sentence feels like it should come after you had been describing what you SHOULD have been, but that description is not there.
All in all, this selection made me want to read the rest of your memoir.
Good luck. I look forward to buying it one day!
Col. Jack
Hi Alison. I love the mention of your blog, placed as it is. You were airing all this to all those people?!? That made me sit up. I’m also interested in the sexual politics of the situation. Is this a feminist book? I’m thinking Erika Jong’s Fear of Flying, and Nora Ephron’s Heartburn – both funny/sad tales of break-up that explore those issues. Very much like your warm effusive style.
Alison,
Thanks for sharing the beginning to your memoir. When I read this, although I love the bacon part of it, it doesn’t feel right. I get a sense that you are trying to emphasize that you are the type of woman who loves the romance and frills, but the man doesn’t (I know that is an oversimplification of it…and perhaps I’m wrong in what you want to convey). However, I’m interested in actually knowing if YOU think you’re the fancy appetizer or if other people have been telling you that and so you automatically go there with yourself. It’s a question one needs to answer when writing a memoir. The best advice for a memoir I could give is to be real with yourself and dig deep. Memoirs can be a healthy way to heal from past pain and move forward. As long as it’s authentically you in the words and images…that, really, is all that matters.
Again, thank you for sharing.
Alison, I may not be the expert that your agent is, but I think those opening paragraphs are real grabbers! I know I want to read more!
I started a blog recently called Break the Mold. Break the Mold is to challenge the way you think, live and interact with others on this planet through core values of honesty, simplicity and radical change.
My latest post is called the Lost Art of Being Well-Rounded (http://breakthemold24.blogspot.com/2010/07/lost-art-of-being-well-rounded.html) and a great introductory into the blog is found here : http://breakthemold24.blogspot.com/2010/07/taking-step-back-to-take-step-forward.html
Take a look and let me know what you think!
I started a blog recently called Break the Mold. Break the Mold is to challenge the way you think, live and interact with others on this planet through core values of honesty, simplicity and radical change.
My latest post is called the Lost Art of Being Well-Rounded (http://breakthemold24.blogspot.com/2010/07/lost-art-of-being-well-rounded.html) and a great introductory into the blog is found here : http://breakthemold24.blogspot.com/2010/07/taking-step-back-to-take-step-forward.html
Take a look and let me know what you think!
I am writing a whole load of things at the moment. Primarily, I am working on releasing the next version of my free roleplaying game, Icar http://www.icar.co.uk
I am also working on a series of posts for my blog, http://thefreerpgblog.com/ where I demonstrate the process of creating a free roleplaying game.
Finally, most pertinent, I am working on a novel based in the Icar universe. I am 60k words in, about 20k left to write before I start chopping and changing. I’ve tried to write an abstract but the problem is that there are 5 parallel stories that meet in the final chapter and the abstract always sounds too complicated. I’ll work on that once I’ve read the whole lot through. It’s about an ordinary group of people struggling against their personal adversities and a group of scientists that need them dead to avoid the destruction of the human race.
I’m in the middle of writing a historical romance with paranormal elements. It’s called Haunting Miss Trentwood, and it’s the story of a woman who is trying to pick up the pieces of her life after taking care of her ailing father for the past year. This difficult task becomes nigh impossible when her dearly departed father begins to haunt her.
I need to make certain I don’t rely on adverbs. I also need to keep the characters believable.
————-
At two in the afternoon the coffin of Mary Trentwood’s father was lowered to its grave. The sun shone unseasonably bright, making Mary squint through burning eyes as she heard the wooden box hit the bottom of the rectangular earthen hole. She heard the whispers of her servants and father’s friends behind her. However quietly they thought they were speaking, Mary heard every word. The whispers grew louder and moved closer, crowding her ears.
Hi Belinda,
This paragraph is very evocative and I love the sense of overwhelming whispers, trapping Mary between her father’s grave and a sea of suspicious, paranoia inducing whispers.
I wondered if the second sentence would be improved by keeping the focus on what Mary sees rather than what she hears. For example, “through burning eyes as she saw the wooden box descend into the earth”. If you wanted to keep it as something she hears, perhaps you could remove the words “rectangular” and “earthen” since we are already aware it is a grave.
Otherwise, very enjoyable writing!
Rachel,
Thanks for the comment! I’m glad it spoke to you. I’ll tweak that second sentence since it seems to be giving others some trouble as well.
Hi Belinda, I wanted more :) That’s a great sign! It was taste and I liked it a lot. My only real question is: do you need the second sentence? I like that we don’t know yet what’s happening until your main character sees that box hit the ground, then we know.
Okay, not the second sentence, I’m an idiot sorry. What I meant was was this: “It was two in the afternoon. The sun shone unseasonably bright, Mary squinted through burning eyes as the wooden box holding her father hit the bottom of the earthen hole.”
My daughter and I have been working on a book during the last school year and we would like to work towards making it a children book, What kind of assistance can you offer? You can view it a blurb.com I just need to know what email to enter.
Any assistane would be helpful.
thank you
Lizg
Liz, I’ve released multiple books through Blurb.com under another name. I’ve done page layout and cover design, and am very familiar with the Blurb system. If you need any help shoot me an email through my website.
Good luck!
I am working on a blog post related to location independent living. I haven’t quite decided yet, but it’s likely to be about some piece of useful technology. Another ongoing project is a collection of articles from the second year of my monthly newsletter. That’s in the editing phase, as I’ve already collated and arranged the material. Only a few more pages to update and then I can release it.
I’m working on a blog post that explores what I learned about a book in my personal search to explore the cultural implications of becoming a mother while being a feminist. The first post in the series (which explains the origin of my search) is here: http://practicingempathy.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/motherhood-and-feminism-what-i-know-and-what-i-want-to-know/
I’m working on developing a few list posts around my theme “mission-driven”
I’m super excited because my perspective is viewing life through the lens of being “mission-driven”
So that’s something I’m going to slowly flesh out as I continue…
Quick question:
On my blog, I try to write as I speak, which is loose conversational style. Is that a benefit or hinderance?
http://www.missiondrivenbrand.com
Twitter: @RobPene
I recently started writing, and used blogging to help me improve. I started a career blog on my journey working in different temporary environments at SparklyTempDiaries.blogspot.com
I’m a beginner. Please be gentle.
@sparklytemp
Hi,
http://bit.ly/bodqHT is one of my most appreciated posts. I’ve tried to have some pun… :-)
The opening goes like this:
“It was a warm and sunny appraisal morning (…do they still call it April???) and I was feeling quite happy and curious. Do you hear that? Happy because I just don’t pay any heed to these silly processes. I had done my work and was sure about the repercussions. They say curiosity kills the cat. But, I had already killed my CAT(Common Admission Test for B-Schools) and related aspirations last November and was now aiming at a decent PC (pay check…don’t confuse it with personal computer). After all every manager understands that all work and no pay makes jack a dull boy. But, my manager knows that I am no simple jack, I am a jackhammer. I am a jack of almost all trades (futures, options, short, long). A jack who has many Jills and who never cares to fetch a pail of whatever. Moreover, with the new specs that I purchased… ” Do give it a read at http://bit.ly/bodqHT
I have a long running series (75 posts) of a perhaps real, office-time love story of a ‘pragmatic lover’ and his ‘no-wit-no-nonsense’ colleague. Currently, I am working to create my first book out of that successful series IT’S ABOUT LOVE (http://bit.ly/9GetKf)
Hi everyone,
This is pretty cool timing since I finally did it – I started writing my first novel in about 7 years last night. My goal is to write at least 300 words 5x a week to start.
My book is based on a true story about my baby sister, Laura. She spent a few of her teenage years living a dual life – the good Laura and the Laura that chose a dangerous path. I want to write it from my perspective as an older sister that “knows nothing” when she knows everything.
The writer in me is screaming, “No! It’s not ready yet!” but I’m going to share this anyways. I appreciate your feedback.
My first memory of Laura is when she plunged out of Mom like a wet seal.
I was 11 years old and watching her birth is something I’ll never forget. The idea that I might see Mom’s “down there” was slightly gross, especially to my friends, but didn’t stop me. My friends would get over it.
Beneath the fluorescent lights, with my sister and I in a sleep-hangover, I experienced the beauty of childbirth for the first and last time.
We all cried at the sight of her, red and slimy like a perfect present. Laura cried, too.
From that moment, she became my pet, my darling little sister, my Laverne. I had a whole bushel of sisters, but Laura was different.
She was my baby, too.
I cared for her, changed her, fought for her attention from the other four hogs, my sisters and brother.
She was our new pet, our new gurgly little poopy project.
With her birth, our family was complete. There would be no more Joneses, no matter what Dad wanted. Mom was done having kids – half a dozen was just right, or just insane depending on how you want to look at it. Mom’s glory was her children.
Laura was the end of glory.
Great first sentence, Melissa! It is visual and almost audible in a way!
In your second paragraph I found myself wondering how, exactly, your friends were involved. I mean, were you just telling them about the birth afterward, or were you telling them beforehand that you were planning to watch, or what? The paragraph might be stronger without any reference to the friends.
The ending is good too, an intriguing hint at what’s to come in the rest of the book.
A couple of small things that interrupted the flow for me: the name Laverne—is that just a nickname you had for her?; calling her a “pet” once was distracting, and then twice made it even more noticeable; the sleep-hangover reference doesn’t seem to fit with the emotion you describe elsewhere in the piece.
Anyway, good for you—1,500 words per week is a great workout! Keep it up!
Hi Melissa,
Great premise and lovely writing, especially for such an early draft. The ‘dual life’ idea is very intriguing. There’s such potential for complex characterisation, mystery, and a thrilling plot (Will she get found out? What exactly is she hiding? How does all the misinformation play out? etc). In the writing, your language is fresh and strong. ‘Poopy project’ is nice and evocative. Of course, at this stage, you don’t want to start editing. 1500 words a week is fast and perhaps the best way to go with a family story. I imagine you might be dealing with the inner critic that tells you, ‘Nooo! You can’t write that about people you know!’ Getting it all down quickly and reassuring the inner critic that you can censor and edit later is probably a good idea.
Good luck and I’d like to read more.
I am doing the 31 Days to a Better Blog Challenge – I’m on Day 4. Please pop on over to check it out at http://ahimsamama.blogspot.com and offer all sorts of constructive criticism. Don’t worry, I can take it! ;)
Kelly, I sooooo enjoyed reading your blog–and I’m not even a mommy! I think it’s a lovely glimpse into the life of someone who is working hard to get it right!
I’m sure you are doing something that I’m very “big on”–The Family Dinner. It’s so important that families (yes, we’re all “busy,” even the children) gather around the dinner table together every evening.
Working on some financial articles in dutch, great for my dutch experience!
I CANNOT believe you’ve posed this question today. Today, this very day, I’ve chosen to FINALLY work on my book proposal. The forces of the Universe conspire…
So here it is:
Finding Her: A Memoir
A woman’s pursuit of truth, spirituality, and self.
As women, we are hungry but often don’t know for what. Yes, we want it defined, but more, we want to know we are not crazy for wanting and desiring something more, that we are not alone.
Finding Her is the exploration of my hunger, of my ongoing search for its satisfaction, and of the women who have accompanied me on that journey; my pursuit of Her.
Read already written stuff…lots of it…at my blog. I’d love to have you there, your opinions, and always, always provocative conversation!
I’m working on my first novel, entitled Look to the Stars. It’s aimed at young adults.
Here’s the first few paragraphs.
It’s funny how things can happen
In the blink of an eye
And how something you never wished for
Becomes reality.
It was the night of my 18th birthday. I had just got home from a small party with my two best friends, and even though it was barely 9:00, I was tired. All day my friends and family had been telling me, “Make a wish! Make a wish!” I never did. To tell the truth, I don’t believe in wishes. I always say that anything you want you can achieve by hard work and effort. In my experience, luck is nonexistent and wishes are fruitless. So I acted like I was being thoughtful, and blew out the candles on my overly iced cake. To make them happy.
That night, I laid awake in my bed, staring at the stars out my window like I often did. Their soft unwavering glow always seemed to calm me. Ever since I was a kid, I had always been fascinated by the heavens. I had star charts plastered around my room and could spend hours sitting by my window, staring at the world above. It was a way of escape for me. My life wasn’t the most exciting one, but I was happy with what I had. I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t poor. My mother loved me very much…I just felt like I was missing out on something my whole life. I couldn’t help but think there was something bigger out there, waiting to be discovered. I’d stare out my window every night, out at those beautiful stars, wishing I could be up there. Wishing I could be with them. Surely there was something more to the mundane life I lived. There had to be. And I couldn’t help thinking that the answer lie floating above my head, up in those magical heavens I adored so much. As I stared out my window, I couldn’t help but notice a star I hadn’t seen before. It was larger than all of the other stars were and very distinct in the sky. “Hmm,” I mumbled softly, shifting a bit to get a better look. I looked at it closer, and found that it seemed to be pulsating with an odd red glow. How odd… And even…was it moving? No, of course not. I reminded myself. Probably just a plane. I shook my head, trying to clear away the confusing thoughts. Nevertheless, as I lay there struggling with sleep, the strange red star haunted me. There was something…different about it. But what could it be! That’s why before I went to sleep, I sat up, stared straight at the star, and whispered a wish.
my twitter is @musegarden
Allison, it is intriguing so far,and seems like good material for young adults. Do you have any editorial help? I teach English, and have written one novel, which I’ve posted about below. One of the things I find most of us need is a good, objective editor; I know I do. For instance, in the extract you’ve provided it would help to revise and delete some of the ‘I’s in many of the sentences. This is always an issue with first person writing, and it is very difficult to see in our own writing. It’s quite simple to revise, just by combining some sentences and reworking others. Generally it only takes removing a small number in order to create writing which is less dominated by ‘I’. I like the story a lot so far. I would read it, even though I’m far from a young adult. Good luck with it.
Thanks for this invitation, Mary—you’ve reminded me again that writing doesn’t have to be a lonely profession!
I’m currently working on my blog/website, particularly the page where people can see the different services I offer and get some idea of prices. I typically have two kinds of clients: people who want to write a book for personal reasons, and businesses or ministries who need brochures, proposals, and other collateral. I’m wondering if I should make a separate page for each of these audiences, or if I’m presenting the information clearly enough on a single page. Also, what can I do to this page to convert more readers into clients?
Here’s the link: http://lifelinespublishing.net/need-writing-help/
Thanks in advance for your help!
Hi Melanie. I checked out your blog because I’m self-publishing one of my novels and so very interested in your subject. I prefer the brief paras outlining each service on the one page like that – because I think I’d be considering combining options. I’m not looking for editing help at the moment, but if I were, I’d be considering a combination of editing, design, etc, and I think many people would like that. I’d be thinking about it and scrolling up and down and making calculations, and it’s easier if you’re doing that one one page. Your website layout is also somehow bright and friendly. I think it works.
Fran, thanks for your helpful feedback. You’ve made some good points, and I appreciate the affirmation! Judging from the comments you’ve posted about others’ entries here, my guess is you’re a skilled editor.
As for your question about getting more readers to your blog/novel, I highly recommend Darren Rowse’s book, 31 Days to Build a Better Blog. It’s a downloadable workbook of 31 short teachings, each with an exercise you can immediately apply. I’m only on Day 6, and I already feel like my blog has improved! Here’s a link: http://www.problogger.net/31dbbb-workbook/
Thanks, Melanie. Yes, I’m a freelance editor as well. I checked out the book you recommend. It looks good. I’m also part of Mary’s and Leo Barbuta’s A-List Blogging Club. Have you joined that yet?
I actually just listened to an MP3 of a Darren Rowse interview of Leo Babauta! Small world, huh? I haven’t joined the A-List Blogging Club because I don’t consider myself A-List material yet—but maybe after my 31 Days are up, I will! Thanks for the tip.
I’m writing on my blog, http://flashesoftheobvious.blogspot.com. My most recent, but probably not my favourite, is entitled “Nostalgia”. Other recent posts are entitled “In the Company of Heroes”, “Description of a Hero” and “My Father’s Wisdom.” My favorite, if I have one, is entitled “I am a Soldier”. It was written for Memorial Day a year ago.
I write for me — partly for the enjoyment of writing, partly to document things I care about or that have made an impression on me, and partly for the enjoyment and enlightenment of my four kids — and, if you enjoy it too, its a bonus.
Hello, I recently wrote a short article about education, underlining some of what I think the major problems are and possibly how to affect change. The problem that I have come across is that with my friends, whom I have shared the piece with don’t seem the slightest bit interested. Perhaps it is the subject matter, or maybe it’s just my friends.
The following is the first paragraph:
America’s current system of education is in peril. If we can surpass or eliminate the industrialized mindset that the educational system has been built upon since the nineteenth century, we can once again realize the true nature of education – the acquisition of knowledge and skills needed for the betterment of ourselves and our society. As it stands now, the method of education is part of a hierarchical system, where the most useful subjects for work and those which will amass the most wealth are emphasized over all else. President Obama’s latest plea for education reform brought the call for an increase in funding for math and sciences. Granted, this will provide our country with the necessary skills to better compete internationally in an increasingly technologically focused world, however, what this call lacks is an emphasis on the cultivation of critical thinking which is only found in the humanities. The academic disciplines of philosophy, literature, history, and the arts which have for centuries been the key to the progression of our civilization are becoming merely supplementary to the insular approach toward the expansion of capital. This is most troubling because what we are taught is inevitably what we will become.
You can read the rest @ http://www.korima.net/2010/02/the-perils-of-industry/
twitter: @artofficialntel
Hi Ryan,
I think it’s a matter of your friends are not interested in the subject matter. I read the entire article, and it is excellent. You hit the mark when you say:
” Perhaps that is the intention, for our leaders don’t want critically thinking citizens who may start asking uncomfortable questions about the status quo.”
I think this statement answers your own question. I teach beginning college English, and I’ve been saddened by the state of our educational system for a long time. However, the majority of people are only concerned about the status quo or as it is becoming, the loss of the status quo, and this obsession seems to interupt any effort at critical thinking. Or perhaps this is due to what your article posits: that citizens have not been taught to think critically. It also seems this has created a populace who prefer and feel entitled to have the answers delivered pre-packaged to their email account, much like going through the drive-through of a fast food joint. Thinking about the why is just too darn uncomfortable for most everyone I run across. Don’t give up, though, those who do think critically are out there, but are they are hard to find.
I’ve enjoyed reading the responses above – it’s always inspiring to hear what other writers are creating :)
I’m about to commence writing a feature length screenplay based on a short film I am currently editing. The film is a rather cruel romantic comedy called Prudence Pecker. The logline is:
“Prudence Pecker fantasizes about becoming a best selling romance novelist but her lack of real life sexual experience thwarts her dreams.”
For a little bit of cheeky fun, I have a link to a sneak preview of one of the film’s scenes : http://www.vimeo.com/13176807
Enjoy!
I loved reading the comments in this post – in my next life I want to be a publisher!
I had a blog for three years which I outgrew in a professional sense. http://www.feistyfemale.com doesn’t exactly say take-me-seriously-in-business. At least not for men in the tech industry.
My new blog on http://blog.beverleymerriman.com uses a more concise style of writing. Inspired by busy entrepreneurs who don’t have time to read long articles and need a quick fix. It was very difficult finding a new voice.
Blogging “rules” tell me I should focus the topics but I feel that this is an unfair representation on my life and thoughts.
I would like a writers perspective on two nagging questions:
1. Is the writing style too concise – does it make the content lack depth?
2. Is the content too varied?
Feedback would be highly appreciated.
I’ve been working on a book review about “Peatbogs, plague and potatoes” by Emma Wood. The book looks at Scottish history in an environmental context.
Here’s my opening paragraph:
Remember that unpronounceable volcano? It’s still there, just waiting to send your holiday plans up in smoke. That’s the thing about Mother Nature: just when you think she’s been contained, back she comes with a wicked left hook. The environment has often been seen merely as a stage on which history is played out. But, as Emma Woods demonstrates, falling ash and rising temperatures have performed roles as decisive in Scotland’s story as those of James VI or Oliver Cromwell.
James, I like it! Just the opening paragraph has me interested in reading the book.
My blog may be outside the genre for most on this blog – it’s a daily Bible message blog (www.mandevillechurch.org). There are many out there, but I’m trying to set mine apart by focusing on good CONTENT and good WRITING. I’ve been doing this for over a year now, so there is a lot of content out there. I THINK I have grown in the process, but would love some constructive criticism.
Here’s an older blog entry called “I Don’t Believe in Dirt”: http://www.mandevillechurch.org/?p=443
Here’s a recent entry called “If I Ran My Life Like My Yard”: http://www.mandevillechurch.org/?p=710
Hello all!
I’m currently working on a supernatural thriller. It’s at the polish stage and I’ve come across a problem. Everyone I show it too say it’s wonderful. I need honest feedback so I can grow and make it the best it can be. I can’t afford to pay an editor or a professional critique, but I’m more then happy to return the favor to a fellow writer. Bellow are the first couple of paragraphs. If anyone is interested in a writing swap, please let me know. Happy writing all.
I looked down into the violet eyes of the babe and I knew it would be so easy. The baby girl was only days old after all, and utterly defenseless. All I would have to do is give her neck one sharp jerk and the horror would stop here and now.
It saddened me a little, that her parents had trusted me so completely. True, I was their best friend and they would never have believed that I, sweet and gentle Joshua Donalds, would be capable of killing their newborn child. I would be able to do it and be far gone long before they discovered her body. I even had time to set it up to make it appear as if I had come to harm as well.
Hi Autumn. I really liked what you wrote, I thought it was engaging. However, what I missed was more of a physical description instead of just the mental thoughts of Joshua. You probably get into that in the next few paragraphs but here are just some ideas. “He slipped his fingers over her feeble neck, pressing down until her soft skin gave and then reddened. She cried but he didn’t hear her nor care, he was thinking how easy it would be to snap that delicate little neck. Her pudgy fingers swatted at him feebly…” etc. Just some thoughts :)
Hello Tarah, Thank you for your reply. The very next line in the book gives physical description in fact, much like what you suggested. If your interested, I would love to swap writing with you.
I thought the real work would be in writing my just-released ebook called Write like you talk –only better, 3 steps to turn good talkers into great writers. If you’re interested, there are previews, reviews and other free samples on my site.
The book was actually more fun than work, bringing together insights I’d gathered over the years to help people who haven’t enjoyed my training, mentoring and experience. Plus I gave myself the freedom to write in my own voice, which had been stifled for so long with corporate clients.
Then I thought the work would be in revamping my site to sell the book. Again, the writing was fun, but ecommerce widgets, taxes and other technical stuff were intimidating.
Now that the book is finally up for sale, I realize there’s even bigger work in selling it.
Even though it’s hard work. I know it’s time to leave my comfort zone. Soon the marketing should become almost as much fun as the writing was. Fingers crossed.
It’s inspiring to read here about so many people spreading their wings. Lots of energy, creativity and courage.
May your projects soar. May all your work become fun.
You might find Peter Bowerman’s book helpful, The Well-Fed Self-Publisher. He gives a lot of insight about the publishing process, including all the marketing involved. Whether you’re self-publishing or published by a traditional publisher, the same truths apply. The Well-Fed Writer is another of his books that I found helpful when I started freelancing. Here’s a link: http://www.wellfedwriter.com/ He also has a blog that I subscribe to, and I think you can access all those resources from the above site.
Enjoy the process!
Thanks for pointing this out! I’m also self-publishing and hadn’t heard about Peter Bowerman. I’m blogging about my process as I venture into self-publishing so this is super helpful.
Someone else who is a self-publishing maven is Zoe Winters, paranormal romance author. Definitely check her out.
I wrote a 9-page (free) ebook late last year about the personal development aspect of leaving behind the corporate world, going on a round-the-world trip and becoming a travel blogger.
You can find that ebook here: http://velvetescape.com/blog/2009/11/travelations-the-trip-that-opened-my-eyes/
I wrote that ebook with the hope of inspiring others to travel as a means of getting back in touch with our true selves, and the reactions were overwhelming. As a consequence… and after a lot of prodding, I’m now planning a book/ebook about the full story as well as the stage I’m currently in as a full-time travel blogger. I’m discovering though that writing a 9-pager was easy – writing a book is a different league altogether!
Wish me luck! :-)
Cheers,
Keith
I have decided to create an additional blog, which focuses on love and relationships, including dating and romance! I have just began this blog, so I am trying to build traffic right now. I would actually love feedback!
http://www.lovemusings.com
Okay, I’ve been working on this book for ten years. This is the final and last rewrite but I have so much trouble with beginnings. I feel pretty good about the rest of the book but no part of it has taken as many rewrites or as much time as this opening sequence which I am still not happy with. Your comments will be very appreciated. Thank you ahead of time.
>>>>
Osondrous’ head was back and the fall sun was on her tan skin. Her shoulders were strong, hard points. She’d been training men at Rayakdool since the Keltch wars and it showed down through the very bones of her. She dressed as a man, leather vest and leggings. The vest was cut out in the back and criss crossed there were long strips of leather, black with ancient sweat. The old leather was the softest thing about her.
Telenay was following her with three of her centaur Seconds between them. He was gnawing his bottom lip because they were walking so casually. And she was just sitting there with a horse between her legs instead of him, propped back, practically napping. They could have been to Rayakdool by now but she was leading, making pace, seeming to enjoy the last of the warm weather with leaves turning yellow around her.
He felt her in the back of his mind, tantalizing and laughing at him.
Not fast enough for you?
It’ll be winter before we get there.
He growled as her laughter echoed around his head. He could block the other Wards out but not her. From the day that willowy little girl showed up at the castle he had never been able to keep her out. His only satisfaction was that it was mutual.
Peeking out of the back of her leggings was the brown hilt of the only dagger she carried. Her chosen long sword jutted out from where she had sheathed it to her saddle. He adjusted his sword, crossed across his back, he had not worn in it what felt like a thousand years.
It’s been three years, Telenay, enjoy the ride.
Osondrous was smiling at all those naughty things that Telenay had at the back of his head. She was smiling because all she had to worry about was Telenay’s impatience.
Her horse, Tamarack, heard the arrow first. His head snapped up.
She gasped.
The arrow clipped over Tamarack’s ears. A long black shaft, aimed right at her heart.
She dove out of the way. Too late. The arrow hit and threw her back.
Telenay kneed Rayue and the horse lunged forward.
Osondrous’ voice cut into all of their minds in a scream, Get them!
The centaurs were gone, sprinting, pulling out their short swords.
He latched on to her when he reached her.
She grabbed the arrow and yanked it out before he could stop her.
“Damn it, Osondrous!”
“Let me go!”
“You’re gonna bleed to death!”
“It’s not that bad!”
But already blood had stained the front of her tunic and he unlaced her vest enough to show the round sweetness of her left breast. The arrow had been released with a hutner’s long bow, meant to penetrate the thick skin of a boar or deer. It cut through her like butter. He gauged the depth of the breach through her breast-bone with his will.
Osondrous paled considerably. “Telenay, you better run.”
Rayue and Tamarack heard her. The two horses turned as one and bolted up the lane, back the way they had come. Back to the castle of the Wards.
The last thing she said out loud was. “You can blame me.”
Hi Tarah. It’s hard to give decent feedback on a snippet, as I don’t know your style or intention with this book, so I’ll keep it general and here goes. Use what you like and discard the rest! There’s a good guideline to writing scenes that says, ‘Get in as late as possible, and leave as early as possible.’ It means, start writing the scene just as the action is beginning, not beforehand. So I would start this scene just as the arrow is launched, ie with ‘Her horse, Tamarack, heard the arrow first.’ Of course, taking this approach, you have to make adjustments and simplifications so that it’s easy to read without going back to remember names etc. I definitely wouldn’t have those lovely detailed physical descriptions (‘tan skin’, ‘the vest cut out in the back’) up front because I think they get lost when we don’t, as readers, as yet have any person to hang them on. My advice would be to keep them until a later para.
Wow, that was great advice! Thank you :) You’re right about starting with the action. I’m so bad about adding things before it. I’ve actually tried to start with the arrow several times before and, of course, I always end up adding something before it. The writer in me just said “duh” lol when you said to bring in the other descriptions later. It seems like I should be able to add those to the action (I.E. Telenay grabbed her, his fingers bumping over the laces of her vest where they criss crossed her bare back etc.)
thanks again!
Yes, exactly! Then those descriptions become part of the action and don’t hold up the story at all.
Cheers and good luck!
I am writing a fiction novel called “In Good Standing”: Determined to earn a partnership in the family business, Treva Hayden crushes everything her father built–and hopes he trusts her to rebuild it.
First page:
Tossing a long tendril of sun-bleached caramel hair behind her shoulder, Treva stared at her reflection in the driver’s side window of a late-model sedan. She considered sweeping the loose, wavy mass into a quick, clean updo. She preferred a more mature appearance–no one wanted to buy a car from a little girl–and with her hair back she could direct her gaze with unerring confidence. Relentlessly determined, Treva’s impressive sales record demonstrated a stubborn unwillingness to back down, but she’d barely rested the night before and this morning it required all her energy to show up at the dealership dressed to sell, dressed to lead–dressed for success.
Treva wanted what Liam didn’t: partnership in the family’s used car dealership. No, more than that. She wanted what her father Mike Hayden wanted–growth, profitability, market share, recognition. In truth, what Treva really wanted was her Daddy’s attention. He’d spent his life pouring every spare moment into building the lot around her, and the fact was he didn’t have much to show for his hard work. But Treva would change all that. She knew she could, if he would just give her a chance.
The morning had been a blur. Ignoring the iPod on her nightstand, she showered and dressed in silence. Every limb felt numb, her heart strangely fuzzy. A tinny, unpleasant hum rattled faintly in her ears. Her mother’s funeral the day before went as expected. Camille had made most of the arrangements herself, with the help of Liam, ever present at their mother’s side. Treva considered this a morbid preoccupation; shouldn’t Camille have focused more on getting well? If it had been her, Treva would have fought the cancer, she would not go down without a fight. She sighed. Camille had done her best with the luck that had been dealt her, and she knew it. She missed her mom already.
Hi all
I am working on a memoire about my life in China.
Title: Black Girl in China
An account of why and how I went to China on a gap-year and ended up living there for 7 years, learning the language, learning to love the people, the country and eventually finding myself. Through the book I aim to explore issues of racism, expat life, culture differences, friendship, death, love and social issues and challenges I faced moving back to Africa after spending my adult years living overseas in China.
Below are the beginning paragraphs dealing with national pride and patriotism in China.
HOME OF THE FULING PICKLE
Chinese national pride trickles down to villages and hamlets…every province, city and town strives to stand apart from all the others as the best and most unique in something. Patriotism is a prerequisite to being Chinese, you can’t be Chinese and not be Patriotic. “Do you like my China?” or “How do you like my China?” were constistent questions I had to answer many times over during my time in China. My responses were quite well rehearsed and lacked any sort of emotion that could be rightly construed as a hint of sarcasm which were always their basis.
“I like it very well”
“The food here is very special.”
“Ma ma hu hu, but very ok!”
“I think its 70% good and 30% bad like Chairman Mao!”
One day I slipped and expressed how I felt about Wenzhou, the city I had just moved to. My answer was a long winded descriptive diatribe about the weather, the food (couldn’t stomach the bland boiled vegetable or raw snails in vinegar pickle), the people (were all the same to me) and the language (couldn’t make heads or tails of the local vernacular which was NOT the Mandarin I was trying to learn.) My audience were 1st year High School students, peppered with verbs and similes; I assumed my students would catch on and realize I had turned my answer into an impromptu grammar lesson. They hadn’t . Wang Jing stood up, his body was shaking and his faced was screwed up brimming with all sorts of emotions. He had to think about what he was saying so he seemed to stutter, his classmates sat like frozen terracotta warriors around him in quiet solidarity waiting for the showdown that was about to happen, I imagined them brandishing miniature swords hidden under their desks that were half unsheathed ready to lash out at me, shredding my ignorance about how great Wenzhou was to smithereens. Wang Jing composed himself and spat;
“Wenzhou is very famous and very good. If you don’t like my city you should go back to your country.” I conceded.
At least I had an option, the classmates collectively relaxed, swords slid back in imaginery sheaths and I promptly brought the Q and A session and to a close moving on to a safe discussion concerning the semester’s curriculum. I never repeated this mistake and was quite an experienced liar when I left China 3 years later having spent 7 years dodging the truth. I once saw a bumper sticker in the US that said in loud white letters against a red back ground
“Welcome to America, now learn to speak English or get the Fuck out!”
In China you are not expected to know the language, it is a welcome surprise if you know a few words in Mandarin and a notable achievement awarded with honor if you are fluent in the language. Loving the country however is a non negotiable requisite.
Hi again;
I would really love to get some feedback if there is anyone out there who has been kind enough to have a read, would love to know if its worth pursuing or not or if i am way off the mark.
Thanks a lot!
Hi Bush kat, I enjoyed reading the sample you posted above. I have traveled to China a few times, and I could easily picture the scenes and reactions you were describing. Plus, you taught me something about the culture I hadn’t heard before.
The impression I got from your title is that your memoir might have something to reveal specifically about race, or being black. That doesn’t come out in the sample you’ve shared, though it might be more obvious in other sections. The title does make me curious though. Since the black experience here in America is so intertwined with politics and economics and religion, I’m curious about the ways it might be different in China, where all those influences are different.
I’d be interested in reading more.
Hi Melanie
Thank you so much for reading and for the helpful insight. You are right the main story seeks to answer the question of whether China is racist towards blacks in particular and to explain their general attitudes towards people of color. However this is only a chapter in the book, I aim to explore other aspects of their social, cultural and religious systems using my experiences as specific examples as well as highlighting interesting encounters and experiences. I would like the chapters to be individual stand alone stories that can be read alone or can be read as part of the full story of Black Girl in China. So in the book, you will experience my life in China, learn about the culture, country and people, one can also take the book with them when they visit China and visit accurately depicted places which may not be readily available in guide books. More than a story of and about race, it is a story of an expat living in china who happens to be a black African. I will be finished with the title chapter “Black girl in China” in the next few weeks. Would be honored if you could read it and let me know what you think!
I’d love to read the title chapter! I have an interest in race/culture issues here in America, and your story would add a broader perspective. I included a story about China in a blog I posted last year about a multi-cultural event my church hosts every year. If you’re interested, here’s a link: http://lifelinespublishing.net/2009/07/25/from-china-to-glenwood-adventures-in-diversity/
If you don’t want to post your title chapter here, feel free to email me directly: lifelinespublishing@gmail.com.
Hi everyone.
I’m currently self-publishing one of my novels online in blog form for free. It’s an experiment. I alerted my friends and family who are reading it – and I’ve had such great feedback, but I simply don’t know how to attract other readers. I’ts a young adult adventure love story. Any ideas for how to advertise, promote or otherwise get traffic?? I don’t tweet or do facebook, and maybe I should. Just dunno. I’d be grateful for any advice. Here’s the link if you’d like to check it out: http://www.wombatblues.wordpress.com.
I’m currently working on a poetry piece called “A Wave” for my poetry blog ppofthebrokenmind.tumblr.com
Here is a certain stanza that repeats throughout the poem:
“I breathe, new day, new light,
With a purpose in mind, in sight.
A smile on my lips has left.
Of happiness, however, not bereft”
It’s supposed to represent the idea of staying in the moment, looking at each day with fresh eyes. And while, I do not smile all the time, it does not mean that I am not happy. However, the stanza sounds a bit awkward and I’m not sure what to do about it.
I wrote a semi-autobiographical first novel, about the soul of the back-country in the north-eastern Sierra-Nevada mountains of California. Maggie is a reporter for the weekly newspaper, and after three divorces, is in the borderland between her past and her future. In the meantime, she befriends a local family and explores the fragile heart of the town she is reporting on in the Springfield Gazette.
I would like to have it proofread and edited, and then republish through a traditional publisher, so any feedback is appreciated. Here’s the beginning of Dead Lines.
Chapter One
As a writer she tended to think of death as the ultimate dead line.
You really do have to get it all done by then, she would scold
herself. So her future tended to come into view as a mad scramble
of last minute objectives frantically attended to, which she might
or might not get done by then, it just depended on how long she
lived. Right now though, she had some inches to write, due in an
hour. This week it was the last word, more or less. Her turn to
shoot off the cuff about whatever she wanted, without offending
any advertisers or the general manager of the paper, as long as it fit
a double wide column and flopped over the fold. Shaking herself
out of her reverie she pulled a tired old feather out of her hat, and
began to write.
Thirty-seven minutes later she placed the disc containing her
piece in the courier pouch on her editor’s desk, where, along with
last minute advertisements and press releases from the prison, it
would be picked up and hand delivered to the main office two
hours away. There was absolutely nothing thought provoking in
it, so she knew they wouldn’t can it at the last minute, and run
one of the infamous dead editor columns from the past. It was
awfully short though, but if the paste-up guys spread out the
paragraphs really wide and stuck a “where to call your congressman
box at the bottom,” chances are no one would notice. She
had already had it yanked for less than being short. Oh well, next
time she would plan ahead, start sooner, have something in mind before she began to type. Next time, next month, before her turn
rolled around again, plenty of time to think about it, later.
As she turned around to leave the office she stopped for a
moment. She was the last one there, everybody else was gone, the
place was empty. Without all the usual chatter it was so quiet she
thought even the resident ghost must have stepped out to catch
his breath. The nylon threads in the commercial carpet glinted
through the dirt in the late afternoon sun reflecting off the plastic
wood paneling on the walls, where computer screens sat staring
blankly back at her. The beige tackiness of the room stood out
stronger than usual. Letting her muscles go loose she exhaled a
long slow breath trying to soak up some of the neutralizing emotion
the Motel 6 decor exuded. It worked. Her mind quit whirling
for a minute, she quit thinking about how long this job took and
how little it paid. She felt . . . .happy. Just as she was surrendering
into a beige induced coma the police scanner in the corner
exploded into a fit of unintelligible static. She screamed out in
shock, before automatically looking around to make sure nobody
had seen. Then she screamed back at the radio.
She hated that radio, and all of its scratchy bad news, but her
editor, Jim, liked nothing better than a picture of a big car wreck
on the front page every week. He knew his readership well. Since
it was a weekly paper, by the time it hit the streets everybody in
town already knew everything that had happened, so the occasion
of its being printed became more of an official reference for them
to quote while giving their opinion on what had really happened.
But of course not everybody would have seen the wreck, so a picture
of it in the paper was a huge asset. Some people subscribed
to the paper just for those photos, and god knows The Springfield
Gazette needed every subscriber it could get.
Everybody in the newsroom was obliged to stop and take pictures
of a car wreck if they happened upon one during the course of She hated that radio, and all of its scratchy bad news, but her
editor, Jim, liked nothing better than a picture of a big car wreck
on the front page every week. He knew his readership well. Since
it was a weekly paper, by the time it hit the streets everybody in
town already knew everything that had happened, so the occasion
of its being printed became more of an official reference for them
to quote while giving their opinion on what had really happened.
But of course not everybody would have seen the wreck, so a picture
of it in the paper was a huge asset.
Everybody in the newsroom was obliged to stop and take pictures
of a car wreck if they happened upon one during the course of lot of practice and an eye for composition or Madge, the seventyseven
year old society editor, whose pictures tended to be slightly
out of focus. It didn’t really matter. Over the years plenty of
Madge’s blurry accident scenes had made the front page on a slow
week, which were sometimes difficult to detect from the fast weeks
in a town where change occurred at a geologic pace.
But during the regular business day it was her job to go shoot
a wreck if the scanner called one out into the room while she was
there, bursting into her day with all the adrenaline of a hissing tire
going flat out on the highway. Oh please don’t let there be any bodies
she would immediately pray. She had not expected this when
she had taken the job. Unlike Jim and Walt, she had no desire to
sit around and compare the aesthetics of car wreck photos. They
would sit and talk for an hour about the finer points of composing
the twisted vehicles for the best effect, pointing out how nicely
the light was reflecting off of the shattered windshield, how if you
looked real closely you could see a foot hanging out of the back
door in the shadows. She had no desire to point out to anyone how
clever it was that the hand was still delicately holding the steering
wheel even though it was no longer attached to the arm. That one
was on the wall over Jim’s desk. It was one of his best shots and he
was proud of it. Walt had yet to match him in their friendly competition.
She just took a quick shot, got the names from the cops,
and left. Her photos generally didn’t make front page unless she
knew everyone was okay, then she would stick around and waste
some film. The others though, well it wasn’t that they bothered
her exactly, but she couldn’t help commiserating with the common
indignity of having a bad snapshot taken, the way the angle of
the chin seemed so odd compared to the neck, or how the strange
juxtaposition of limbs would make a person look so awkward that
she just knew they would say “Hey! I would never be caught dead
looking like that!” and yet there they were, speechless—it was so
rude of life somehow.
Her bodies never made the front page unless they were
standing on their own two feet or giving the thumbs up from the
stretcher while being lifted into the ambulance. The scanner continued
to squawk in the background. She was done for the week.
She let herself out the door quickly before she could hear what it
said.
A car pulled up behind her just as she was pulling her key
from the lock. She turned around. It was Jim. Shit! He got out of
his car which she knew had a scanner in it. Hopefully nothing had
happened. She tried to be quick.
“Hi Jim, I was just leaving.” She left open where she was going
for the moment.
He looked at her closely not falling for her ploy.
“All done Maggie? Where you headed?”
“Oh you know,’ she bantered, “wherever the news is,” trying
to string him out long enough to tell if she was caught.
He let her off the hook easily. “Big wreck just came in on the
scanner, did you hear it?”
“Oh, that’s what it was. The static was so bad I couldn’t tell
what was happening, but I was going to call you when I got home,
make sure you got it.” Good save, she thought, she was improving.
Jim smiled. Suddenly she felt his excitement. She let the corners
of her mouth drift upwards and kept quiet.
“I just came by to get my extra flash, the battery’s dead in this
one,” he announced.
She gave him a submissive, pleading look which meant “So
I’m free, right? I can go?”
“Want to come along,” he asked, “learn some tricks of the
trade?”
Shit! she screamed inside her head while keeping her mouth
arranged in a friendly smile and the pleading look planted on
her face.
“Maggie, relax, I’m kidding, go home.”
She wanted to hug him, but he was already hurrying off to get
his gear, sending her away with a gentle wave of his hand.
God he is sick, she thought as she hurried to leave, but in a
healthy sort of way.
She began walking around the block to where she had parked.
The sun had nearly set by now. She hadn’t realized how late it
was. The sky was turning dark blue tinged with purple. Smoke
from woodstoves drifted on the evening air. Main Street stretched
up the hill to the west of her, disappearing into the curves of the
mountains. Far down the highway to her east, where the town
spread out into the desert valley, traffic lights blinked cheerfully
as cars turned into the new Walmart parking lot. From the direction
of Diamond Peak came the high-pitched whine of a saw cutting
into a pine tree down at the mill. A slight movement by the
corner of her eye startled her and she turned quickly, expecting
to see a man, but no one was there. Maybe it was the ghost returning
home to the paper after his evening stroll, she mused, but
it happened again. She looked up. Shadows scattered in the light
under the orange glow of the street light fluttering on in the dusk.
She watched as a few large, lazy flakes waltzed to the ground
before melting into the warm street. She smiled. It was the first
snow of the year. Boy would that mess with Jim’s photos.
I ended up self-publishing it, and it’s on Amazon. If you want to look inside the book just go to Amazon.com and search for Holly Wilcox. Thanks!
I accidentally cut and pasted one part a couple of times
Sorry about that! It’s not in the original.
Holly
I love the title—Dead Lines. Very clever!
I’ve changed my writing…I’m writing more authentically me. I’m expressing personal beliefs more. Readers are not only liking it they’re doing the same.
Your “be part of creating a better world” resonated with me as that is basically what I’m trying to do in my food blog. And I love your writing style, clean and crisp!
I’m five days away from finishing a 30 day series about becoming a Super Villain. I’ve been sort of winging it to give My blog a little kick start, and while I’m not 100% happy with it I do believe there are a lot of ideas I wouldn’t have come up with if I hadn’t decided to post for thirty days.
I plan on editing it down to one piece, possibly an ebook at some point. I would pull out any linkage or fluff, which I feel would make the project a lot better.
http://freeevil.com/category/30-days-of-evil/
I checked out your blog – a very interesting idea to stick with a theme and write on it every day. It’s also very brave to publish as you go. I’m thinking of doing the same. How has it affected your subscribers/readers?
I’m working on an e-book on insomnia and other sleep disorders. My goal is to weave practical advice and education in with real-life stories (both funny and heartbreaking) from people who have struggled with insomnia. I’ve been asking 5 questions to any non-sleepers I know, and the responses have really made me (even more) aware of what a debilitating issue insomnia is!
The questions are:
What has been the most effective one or two remedies to help you sleep?
What’s the strangest thing you’ve tried to help you sleep?
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done when up during the night not able to sleep?
What’s your funniest sleep disorder story?
What’s your most heart-wrenching or painful story?
I’m hoping the book will be both entertaining and hopefule.
Kat
I’m sure you’ll have a HUGE market for that one.
I’m a songwriter/musician, and lately i’ve been wandering through some ideas that i could use for a book or a film script, and give the songwriting a break.
Actually, is one big idea and its parts, but i don’t have a clue where am i going with this:
There’s that girl, who lived her whole life across the street from a cemetery, and she really liked going there, to think and figure out things in her life – and she’ve been doing that since she was a kid, in the same day every week, same hour every day.
This one especial day, eveything was going wrong, and she end up getting late for her “regular visit”. She got there a couple hours late, and met a boy that do the same thing as her, but in a different time.
They become friends and everything, and then come the part i’m missing: i don’t know what it will be like from here, but i think that the boy is probably dead, if you know what i mean.
Is funny when you notice that you don’t know your own ideas :P
Wow, this is a great idea!
Earlier this year, I did my first query to an agent, and they requested to see the first 30 pages. I was beyond excited…until they wrote back about a month later saying that it didn’t fit their agency, but that it showed promise. I had thought that the novel was fantasy, but a more careful look at it made me suspect that it may in fact be a horror novel.
I wanted to get some outside opinions on the world I created for the novel, to see if my guess is correct and that I should aim at agencies that handle horror rather than fantasy. The blog for it is http://forevermarked.blogspot.com. I also wanted to know if any horror or fantasy fans would be interested in such a book series.
Thanks in advance for any comments or feedback, I really appreciate it! I am seeing some amazing ideas in here!
This sounds interesting!
I am basically a health writer interested in Homeopathic system of medicine, being a homeopath myself. I am also interested in writing about Yoga and natural life sciences like Pranayama.
I run a health blog at http://www.drshreya.blogspot.com. Basically I love to write what I can relate to and what appeals to me. It has got a great catahrsis effect on your body and mind when you pen down your thoughts. The writing should both be entertaining and leaving an impact on the reader, I feel.
Hope to write better and more in future! My best wishes to the team!
Hi Mary,
Thanks for this!
I have a blog post that I think has the legs on it to expand into a book/e-book: its called 35 Shots of Truth. I just feel like I can put more meet on its bones.
I’d love some feedback to know if I’m on the right track.
Love your work, Mary–thanks for providing this kind of support to writers! (and thanks to you too, Leo!)
Take Care,
Jill
Hello,
I recently started a blog about Life Partner Relationships. One of the main topics I’m writing about is how to find a life partner, in very practical terms.
(It is not a blog about how to date, but how to find a life partner. To me this is a critical distinction)
I’d ultimately like to turn it into a booklet which the Surgeon General would make required reading as part of a “national heart health” initiative. Just kidding. Sort of.
I’m amazed at how complicated the search for a mate has gotten (especially from a woman’s point of view, and particularly in big cities). Many women – even brilliant, accomplished women who can start a business and run a marathon before breakfast – are often at a complete loss for how to go about finding a person with whom they can enthusiastically share their life.
And yet people have been getting married for hundreds of years. And being brilliant and accomplished – or even good-looking – is not a criteria for being successful in finding a great life partner. So what are the criteria? How does it work? This is what I’m eagerly writing about.
Forgot to put a link to my blog: http://lifepartnerlove.blogspot.com
Would love any feedback and any topics ideas that people would like me to explore.
Thanks in advance everyone. It’s wonderful to be a part of this writing community with you.
I’m working on a revision to an urban fantasy/thriller novel. The book was done, but I ran way too short and had to write upwards. All the workarounds I did to get the word count up made the story extremely overcomplicated–a fact obvious to all the agents who rejected it based on the first three chapters.
So I’m having to go back to square one. The running short problem is an organizational process issue, rather than a writing issue (believe me, I’ve already tried all the writing solutions–that’s why the story is overcomplicated!). I tossed out all the various pieces of writing advice from over the years and am going to trust that the writing will take care of itself. That way, I can focus on the organizational process issues. Hopefully, I will come out with a story that’s a more appropriate length!
My major project is a science fiction novel called We are the Weapon. I’m 70,000 words into the first book of what I hope will be a trilogy. Even though the first novel will be stand-alone, as I finish it I’m also outlining two sequels tentatively titled Wounded Earth and The Widening Gyre that will round out the story arc. It’s about revolution, child soldiers, the nature of patriotism, and the generation-spanning price of war.
My ten second pitch is: “My main character is a member of the secret police who turns on his dystopian government and leads a rebellion. It’s 1984 meets Crash.”
This is my full query pitch (thus far):
Dear Agent/Publisher/Person Who Wants Desperately To Send Me A Three-Book Contract With Option To Renew,
It is the year 2032.
Twenty years after a nuclear attack against Atlanta sparks World War III for the United States, three very different people struggle desperately to survive in the broken wastelands of California. Two of these survivors are Charlie Sakura, a domestic insurgent battling the military-industrial complex which has a stranglehold on American survivors, and Tristan Wolfe, a young boy orphaned by treason. Their lives are changed forever when they cross the deadly path of Lieutenant Brutus Telfair, a sixteen year-old soldier and prominent officer in the secret police force of Los Angeles.
Brutus never questioned his role in the iron fist of the Conglomerate—from the age of five, he has been at war in hellholes all over the world, settling down after ten years of mercenary work in China and Iran to operate for the Squads, California’s special brand of jackboot law enforcement. But when his subordinate shoots an innocent girl and Brutus is framed for the murder, he soon finds himself in America’s most notorious death camp alongside the very men he has sworn to destroy.
It is here, in the Labyrinth, that Brutus begins to reconsider everything he has ever been taught about his father’s assassination, the rebel flash mobs, and the fascist nature of the post-war American government. With the help of a few new friends (and a few old enemies) Brutus Telfair might just be transformed from a state-sanctioned killer into America’s most unlikely hero.
I have a few writing samples on my blog of short stories in progress(www.kellyeparish.wordpress.com) but I’m keeping Weapon off the Internet for copyright reasons, since I do want to have it published sometime in the near future.
Hello, all!
I am a start-up blogger who is trying make concise in his writing what lessons he is learning from life, as well as trying to develop his own writing style. I only have 3 posts up, right now. The reason I ask you to read my blog is to really give me a glimpse of your experience; does my writing really work? Am I the greatest writer to ever live, or should I stop writing and “get on with my life”? I am only kidding, of course.
Any suggestions?
-Ty
Hello, I suppose it would be foolish to not take advantage of this opportunity to get feedback on my blog. A bit scary, though! I started my blog, The Delightful Repast, http://delightfulrepast.com, less than six months ago. It’s comfort food, really, with an occasional review. It’s an easy blog to “follow” because I post just once a week, on Friday morning. Your feedback will be greatly appreciated!
Hi Jean, I love your blog. I had trouble subscribing to it though – which I tried to do immediately. First, I didn’t see where I could subscribe by email, and then when I tried to subscribe by ‘Friend connect’, it wouldn’t accept my subscription, but said there was an error and to try again later. Don’t know what the problem was.
Hello Fran
Thanks so much. I don’t know why you would have had trouble with the Google Friend Connect. Can you try that again and see if it works. Maybe it was a momentary glitch. I know someone else who just signed on there yesterday.
I would love to have people subscribe by email, but I don’t know how to do that! I can cook up a storm, but I’m a low-tech kinda gal, I’m afraid! I don’t even know how it works. When they subscribe by email, what does that mean? What happens after that–on their end, and mine?
If you use Feedburner, which is now a Google service, you can allow people to subscribe by email. It’s free, and they take care of all the behind-the-scenes work for you. Each time you write a blog post, Feedburner emails the content to your email subscribers.
Thank you, Worderella, I’ll look into it!
I just managed to sign up with Friend Connect, but I would still recommend allowing email subscribers too. I think it’s easier for the non-techy types.
Fran, when you say email subscribers, are you talking about Feedburner? I’m looking into that, but if you meant something else … Being a non-techy type myself, I really need to have things spelled out! Thank you so much!
Feedburner is good. I don’t know if there are other ways. Email subscription is just a standard ad-on on my WordPress blog.
Wow, this post has gotten a lot of comments! It is great to see all the writing projects people are working on! I notice a lot of fiction and stories. Are there any non-fiction gurus. I mostly just maintain my blog and write content articles. It is great to see all the creativity!
below is an excerpt from my memoir which I have recently posted on my blog… I am not sure if it is the beginning, middle or end at this point…lol! I had 2 children by the age of 16 and have been able to overcome a lot of adversity. I have gained a whole new perspective on life and hope to help others with my story. Fear is what I have had to work through most so here it goes…
I am grateful for the dark night of the soul. Even as I am in the midst of it, I am grateful. My inner world feels as if a tornado has swept through. Everything has been strewn about, uprooted. I spend time trying to put the pieces back, put everything back in its place but I’m finding some of the pieces don’t fit anymore. The tornado has forever altered the landscape. Some of the pieces are no longer useful but I am scared to discard them, let them go. It reminds me of when I would keep empty juice bottles and cereal boxes in the kitchen cabinet. I knew they were empty and useless but they took up space that would have otherwise been empty and helped me feel more secure. I am used to them. They have always been there. If I let them go what takes their place? Even as I go through this I am grateful. A co-worker once presented me with a quote on a fancy piece of paper for my birthday. As he handed it to me he explained that my ability to cry was a gift. The quote read “I wish to live my life on the verge of tears, for it is in those moments, when I am about to cry, when I am on the emotional edge, that I am most convinced of the aliveness of my soul”.
I hold onto that right now because I cry a lot. There are moments when I am gripped with fear, when my heart pounds in my chest and I feel nauseous. And in those moments I cry. There are moments when I am so sad that all I can do is hang my head down and breathe. In those moments I cry also. As I walk through the devastation left by the tornado I cry. Nothing will ever be the same. I will have to sift through everything that’s been thrown around; everything that’s been unearthed. The task at times seems overwhelming but I will not carry all this with me on the next leg of my journey. It will be too heavy. There has been a lot buried throughout the years…experiences and feelings I’ve wanted to forget, thoughts I’ve denied, a voice or touch too painful to remember. I will have to go through it all, discard things that no longer serve me, keep what I need and figure out what to do with the rest.
I don’t know how long this dark night will last, how long it will take me to clear the wreckage, but I’ve learned to take it one day at a time. I’ve learned to feel the fear and do it anyway. I’ve learned to trust the process and stand in my truth. That “I am a good person worthy of love and respect”, and that in addition to my gift of tears, I also possess the gift of grace. I’m blessed to have the footsteps of those who journeyed through the dark night before me to follow. They are my mothers and fathers, the ones placed in my path and along my journey when I had none. I hope their lessons sustain me. Deep down I believe they will.
I am moving on from them now and I feel compelled to write it down, what they gave me, how they helped me to see myself clearly, finally. I believe writing them down will be my way of stitching them into my heart, one by one with each word. I fear if I don’t, I will lose them, forget them as time goes by. I don’t want their words, their examples, who they were, to become tangled in the debris and accidentally tossed away
I really like your article. i am very impressed with your post. i also want to say about the writing.Not only does a powerful book title encourage people to buy your book, it helps you define exactly what your book is about before you write your book. It’s a secret that many use and if you want to become a writer it’s helpful to use every trick in the book to make it easier.Imagine trying to write a book about organic gardening. How do you create an outline? How do you decide what to write about? Now imagine writing the same book, after you’ve written the book’s title.Thanks for sharing the nice tips.
I know a little bit how long this will last, how long it will take me to clear the brush wreckage, but I’ve note some points to take it some days. I’ve learned to feel the fear and do it anyway. I’ve learned to trust the process and stand in my truth. Thanks for sharing.
I know a little bit how long this will last, how long it will take me to clear the brush wreckage, Thanks for sharing.
Good post. Thanks for the guidelines.
I have just submitted my first novel ‘Life in Slake Patch’ and have started a blog – mandyevebarnett@wordpress.com
My writing has become an enjoyable, frustrating and all encompassing passion in the last 15 months. I have found a writing circle for support and enjoy their companionship and guidance.
Thanks for a great post.
I’m working on a book called, The Colors of Passion and Love. Here is a sample from the second chapter
Chapter Two
His Beige Betrayal
I was able to meet Magesty several times during the next week, but the meetings were rarely private and even when it was just the two of us, our meetings happened within the confines of the palace. Not exactly the best place for an intimate conversation, much less an intimate seduction.
Not that I had any idea just how to go about seducing him. Oh, I had read tales of love and passion, all of them smuggled into the palace by Salee. They were usually filled with flowery phrases of devotion from the hero and passionate declarations of love from the heroine. There was very little language that described in detail the physical methods of seducing one’s intended.
That is, except for one manuscript which I had read over and over. I kept that particular manuscript under my bed where I was fairly certain my mother would never find it. I was not quite certain I believed that the various activities described in the manuscript were the result of passion and love. Some of the described activities sounded rather gross. But I tried to keep an open mind.