Writing Workshop: What are YOU writing?
Photo courtesy of moriza
What are you working on right now: A bestseller? Your best article ever? A film script?
Maybe you’ve just finished something you’re really proud of? Or you just can’t tell whether it should get a Pulitzer or be thrown into the trash?
Here’s your chance to share and discuss with each other what you are writing about. Remember the fantastic first writing workshop we had in August? Here’s our second edition. It’s your chance to share what you are working on with other writers.
Whet our appetite with the opening paragraph of your future bestseller, give us a link to your best article, or tell us what you are writing at the moment.
Who knows, your piece might even attract the notice of a major publishing house!
Here are some guidelines:
A. Writers:
* State what aspect you’re working on. For example, you might want to say, “Here’s a link to my article Whatever. I’m currently working on eliminating superfluous words.”
B. Commenters:
* When commenting, first list everything you really like about a piece.
* Only then offer careful suggestions.
* Treat each other with respect, friendliness, caring, and honesty.
* Remember that we are all still learning.
Now it’s over to you. Take a deep breath. Then jump into the comment section and bring out your treasures!
40 Responses to “Writing Workshop: What are YOU writing?”
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I wish I could lay out a long list of juicy content that would truly whet your appetites, but I can only point you to my blogs. Though there may be some ideas in the works for a book or two, it is too early to bring them to the public eye. Heck, I still haven’t really brought them to my own eyes, so infancy would be an understatement.
But, for now, I look forward to sharing in everyone’s up-and-coming creations and being apart of this wonderful creative process.
If you are interested, my blogs are:
“Motivate Thyself
and
Up-And-Coming-Blogger
Here are the first short (!) three grafs of my novel, plase be kind!!
Chapter 1
At six a.m. on this particular morning, Cassie Keaton was jolted awake by Katrina and the Waves singing “Walking on Sunshine.” A combination of the time and the ADHD rhythm of the song made her want to smash the clock radio. Instead, she reached over, hit the off button, and dropped her head back on to the pillow. In those first few foggy moments Cassie managed to block out any thoughts about what today was. Within minutes though, the churning in her stomach started.
Cassie rolled out of bed and headed into the bathroom, turned on the shower and waited for the water to get hot. As she flossed her teeth, looking at herself in the mirror she reprimanded herself for being so dramatic. For weeks it had been the same thoughts: This is the last time I’ll wash her sheets. This is the last time we’ll go to the movies. It was pathetic, and she knew it. No one would ever accuse her of exactly rolling with change.
Today was the day Cassie was taking her daughter to college. And leaving her there. This was the day Cassie had been dreading for weeks. Actually she’d been dreading it since Abby was five. It was the day all overly-involved parents tried their best to not think about and ignore.
Here is a brief excerpt of a short story I am working on. Any comments would be appreciated.
My elbow ached from sleeping on the linoleum floor as I shifted the wrinkles in my blankets to cover my face. In any other place, sleeping on the floor wouldn’t be appropriate. In a hospital, political correctness had no merit. It was a world where excitement was a new flavor of jello or a change in linens or having the strength to pull a lever to sit upright in a bed. I wanted to sit in a chair, but I refused to take the necessary walk into father’s hospital room where he lay in his bed, repeating “Ruiz, Ruiz” over and over again. It was easier to sleep outside the door and play mental hopscotch and wonder about riddles that can only be contemplated in solitude at the end of life: Does God have a system of checks and balances? When someone dies, was another person automatically born?
In his more lucid state, father often asked me these philosophical questions. As his eldest daughter, I wanted to respond, but that would mean another lecture. Father believed he was an authority on different philosophical theories even though he never taught at a University. He talked about his Instructions on Life and kept his list in his back pocket. His list was with him at all times and he never bought pants without a back pocket just so nothing was left to chance. To keep his list in pristine condition, he’d laminated two copies at Kinkos. The list was:
1) Assume nothing;
2) Don’t take anything personally;
3) Always do your best; and
4) Be impeccable with your words.
“Dad, um, your list, uh, I hate to tell you, is not original.” My mouth half-smiled in the corners when I was half-serious and half-joking. I peeked around the corner to see Father sitting in his favorite chair in his living room. I walked toward him with soft feet and tiptoes because I knew it was his date with his beloved crossword puzzle.
“Dad, a guy named Don Miguel Ruiz already published a book called the Four Agreements by about this very thing.” My voice came out almost as a stuttering whisper, not because I was afraid of the words, but I was afraid of father’s reaction.
“What? What? I don’t believe you, Mona. Are you out of your mind?” I knew I had done it. Questioning father about one of his beliefs, especially one of his original beliefs, was tricky territory. It always meant a soliloquy of some kind. Father was incapable of having a conversation. He only lectured and the other person was lucky if he or she could even get a breath in as a response.
“Mona, you know, what I think happened?” He held his hands in a clasped position on his lap reviewing and recounting everything that had happened in his life.
“Yes, Dad?” I rolled my eyes in my head, embracing what was about to come.
“I am almost sure of it. I know it was during one of my plane trips to California. I ordered tomato juice, you know, I only drink tomato juice when I fly. As I was sipping my tomato juice, I remember mentioning this list to a nice lady that was sitting next to me. Mona, I think this Ruiz guy must have been sitting in the seat behind me and stole my list.”
I recently completed a feature screenplay that I am in development with and looking for investors. Here is my logline for the film:
“Four ordinary people living in four different stages of life in four separate cities within southern California all share one thing in common: loveless lives. This is a coming-of-age story of about taking chances, finding love, and finding yourself regardless of how old and hopeless you may feel.”
I’m also one month into my new blog called “The Growing Artist” which is a site dedicated to artists (like myself) that are trying to grow not only as artists, but as human beings too. Although geared towards artists, it is a site for everyone that is looking to make positive growth and change in their lives in order to become the person they ultimate want to become.
I strongly encourage you to stop on by, and if you’re interested in reading a 3-page scene from my film, I would gladly email that to you. My email is tooseven@gmail.com or you can contact me through my website.
To all of you writers out there, keep up the great work!
I hate the word “poem” and prefer to say “creative writing” Everything I write is mostly based on my own experiences and not sure if very good.
What I’m working on is seeing if any of this can somehow be shaped and molded into some type of book. Here is a small excerpt:
“Marty hit me…
Well, no, that’s not entirely true.
I was wearing skimpy blue shorts and an old flimsy white t-shirt with out a bra. Some how, he grabbed a fist full of shorts with his right hand and a fist full of t-shirt with his left, picked me up sideways, and flung me against the wall. Though I fell to the floor with a thud, I still managed to pick myself up, avoid his grab to quickly stand up again to face him…”
Please read the rest @ http://www.divineq.blogspot.com
Hi,
It’s very late Friday night (or early Saturday morning) here in Tulsa, so I’m going to read what’s been posted here in the morning and then comment, if that’s ok.
I’ve posted the first scene of my one-man show, which I am adapting to a book, at my website. Here’s the link:
http://bornagainblog.wordpress.com/the-first-scene/
I’d appreciate any feedback and, again, I look forward to reading what you’ve got tomorrow morning.
~Justin
I’d like to share my article on boosting your self-esteem which details ways that helped me get over those rejection letters or times when I was feeling down as a writer.
And a fiction piece entitled Sex with Fairies
Here’s an excerpt:
Emma’s first kiss was a drunken fumble on prom night. Years later, she lost her virginity fooling around with her boyfriend on his mother’s bed. She found him later in the same position with another woman, his quivering behind thrust out crudely in the air. He lost some of his pride and dignity that night when she hit him with a frying pan. Not to mention some of his teeth.
She still kept them in her purse.
Emma was a woman who didn’t believe in any fantasy of sorts that came out of storybooks and movies –of faceless princes on horseback, candlelit dinners, carefully planned trysts and of miraculous kisses that bring back the dead.
Clearly, she had no idea what was going to happen to her on Ryan’s deathday.
———
Glad there’s lots of posts here on short stories. :)
Hi Candace!
Thank you for sharing the first 3 paras of your novel. It’s scary putting your stuff out there, isn’t it?
Your beginning made me want to read on. That’s the most important tasks of the opening section.
One thing I wondered was whether Cassie only feels dread. Does she maybe also feel a conflicting emotion? Maybe she is also looking forward to a new freedom? If there is a conflicting emotion you might find that it gives some inner drama to your piece.
Hi Ru!
I love the little details in your story! Especially keeping the list in the back pocket.
I definitely wanted to go on reading to see if the father dies.
One thing I wondered was about how you introduce the flashback. It took me a while to figure out that I was now reading a past time account. That moment of figuring out jolted me. Maybe you could segue into the flashback and make it a smooth transition?
Thanks for the invite, Mary.
I’m on assignment today: “something funny about Golf” 400-700 words, deadline 5 pm EDT (six hours from now).
At first I thought, “oh, man, I can pop that out in 15 minutes.” So far all I have is:
“Golf is not a sport for the faint of heart.” And I’m not thrilled with that one sentence, either. So, back to the keyboard!
~im
[I'll backtrack and look at what's posted now]
Sorry, too quick with the “submit’ button, my signature is:
~Jim (just so you won’t wonder if I’m asking for “chat” friends or something, sheesh!)
Candice, you drew me in right away. I knew “something was up” immediately. Like your setting details:
” jolted awake by Katrina and the Waves singing “Walking on Sunshine.””
” waited for the water to get hot. As she flossed her teeth…”
” the last time I’ll wash her sheets.”
Good opening. I think you could tighten it up, make it a bit more personal, and perhaps show us even more about Cassie right away. “Why should I care what happens to Cassie?” is the question you should answer for yourself and your readers.
~Jim
RU,
Liked the way you opened – you set an intriguing scene right away. First person draws your reader in quickly, but can be more difficult to use as your story unfolds. Very interesting premise, excellent details.
Agree with Mary about your flashback. Watch carefully,too, for your protagonist’s “voice” as you write her thoughts and observations. In this sentence for example:
“He held his hands in a clasped position on his lap reviewing and recounting everything that had happened in his life.” Is this how Mona would ‘think’ or is it more appro for third-person narration?
Regardless, you made me want to read more. That’s a win!
~Jim
I have written a few paragraphs here and there, but life keeps interfering.
I can give my five-second elevator pitch is, if you want to hear it.
This is what I tell people if they ask me what I’m writing — or trying to write.
Hi Craig!
What’s your elevator pitch?
@Candace I’m curious about where you’re going with your tale, so good job with creating interest. Perhaps you could begin the first paragraph with the last two sentences of it as written. If the first thing I see is this character is dreading something about today so much that she’s feeling sick about it, I might be even more drawn in.
@RU I like the opening sentence. Gives me just enough information to be curious about what’s going on. The “philosophical questions” are nice, too, in giving a sense that the character is distancing herself from how she’s really feeling about her father’s illness. Might want to proof it a bit. (for instance: “…Ruiz already published a book called the Four Agreements by about this very thing” where it seems you might have meant to say “…Agreements about…” deleting the word “by.”) I don’t understand what being the eldest daughter has to do with wanting to respond to the father’s questions. Wouldn’t this be true if she were the middle child or the youngest or whatever?
@Bryan Do these people know each other? Just wondering.
@Divine Q Went to the blog. My big question is, how exactly did the main character win the fight? Sounds like she got her butt kicked. Good job leaving me curious as to why this person would be around Marty days later to see the bruise. And as to why she’s no longer afraid of this person who just bloodied her up. Post more, yeah?
And the link to my stuff is…
http://bornagainblog.wordpress.com/the-first-scene/
It’s a quick read. I’ll be back to see what you think.
Thank you to everyone who commented, it’s SO appreciated! You all made very good points – what great readers all of you are.
Thank you!
I am not sure what is happening but my comments never show up. I guess I’m in some sort of spam limbo, but I’m going to try one more time.
I am writing my first blog. Here are the first few bits of a post about becoming a writer. As you can see, it is about how I viewed myself prior to deciding to be a writer and how thinking of myself as a writer changed my writing. See the rest from the link. I’d appreciate comments as I am still getting used to writing for blogs. Thank you.
—
Writer’s Brain: A Rewired Way of Thinking
About a year and a half ago, as I finished up my dissertation, I thought of an idea for a novel. In the next day or so, I’d come up with much of the plot and made some notes on its structure and characters. However, I had other writing priorities right then, so I forced myself to set the idea aside and told myself I’d take time to write fiction when I finished my Ph.D.
It is strange, but I never thought of myself as a writer. Sure, I wrote poetry in high school. Two of my poems went into the literary magazine published by my school. I won a position in a citywide high school playwriting workshop my senior year. My first year of college, I started a fantasy novel (heavily influenced by quest novels, Tolkien, and some cultural anthropology classes) which I gave up on after 40 pages of plot and two notebooks of notes/cultural background and maps.
Read the Rest…
http://blogging-bard.blogspot.com/2008/10/writers-brain-rewired-way-of-thinking.html
Writing is the most rewarding and maddening endeavor I have ever undertaken. Sometimes you sit down at the keyboard and the keys just clickclickclick away like raindrop patter and every image is poignant and you ride atop a soaring wave of creative flow until suddenly you realize it’s been 2 hours and 5 pages since you sat down and you exhale a sigh of supreme satisfaction. The world is a beautiful place and you have a beautiful real purpose.
These times are few and far between.
They are flanked by many large angry phalanxes of crappy times. Writer’s block is, for me, a misnomer, because it suggests that if the writer were to use some figurative plunging or Draino-powered purging, everything would flow freely. When things are not flowing it never seems the fault of a “block,” but rather the crappy crumbling system of my own cerebral plumbing. It’s simply no good. It’d be cheaper to trash the whole damn thing than to try and fix a little leak or blockage.
Hannah Friedman
http://www.writinghannah.blogspot.com
Everything Sucks out August ‘09
Hi everyone,
I’m delighted to see your offerings. There is so much hidden talent in the WTD community!
I’ve been working hard at putting more stories into my writing. I’ve recently decided to offer my ebook Overcome Anything: Finding the Light after Darkness for free. It’s full of inspiring personal stories. I think ‘illustrating’ the topics with stories works, but it’s always hard to be sure of that oneself when one is trying something new. I’d like to know what you think. You can get the eBook here.
@ Bryan,
Will your four char’s interact somehow; do the stories converge? Sounds like a potentially engrossing film!
@ Divine Q,
Love your quick excerpt! No wasted words, instant action, vivid yet simple details. If that was page one of a book I’d just opened, I’d still be reading. Well done.
…back for more in a bit.
As for mine, I did keep that single opening sentence, and made my deadline with an hour to spare. Here’s para one (a bit dry, yeah, I know…)
“Golf is not a sport for the faint of heart. Nor is it a pastime for the weak of wallet, or for the uncoordinated. There’s a very good reason why golf is a four-letter word. Still, playing golf is a great opportunity to revel in the great outdoors, see some incredible scenery, and socialize with friends and business associates.”
The whole piece lives here: http://www.helium.com/items/1205153-golf-humor-true-stories
…now, back to the earlier submissions.
Hey Mary,
I’ve subscribed to get the ebook. Let you know when I’ve read it. :)
Any feedback from you would be great. Or probably my excerpt’s too short?
@ Hannah: I tried clicking on your site but nothing’s coming up. I’d like to read your blog.
I like fixing a small leak any day. That’s one of the marvels of writing. Perfecting it into this sinuous symphony, a fiber of a vibrant living fleshy being. It’s like in the growing stages of an embryo except you get to see it, shape it, see its eyes, then its nose then its ears. If there’s anything you don’t like about it, you can tweak a little here and a little there. Sometimes even scrap and start sculpting that palpitating mold again. You get to form that relationship between you and your baby, a bond that is unshakable. There would be tough times yet but there’s joyous ones as well.
I sometimes get that blockage or clogging (you can read about that in my post: Writer’s Block or Unblockt ). But when everything’s working perfectly, it’s got the most awful timing. Did this ever happen to anyone? You’re working in the middle of whatever you have to do in your day job. Then inspiration strikes. Do you put words to paper or wait? Sometimes I can’t decide because these moments are so rare. Then I’m scared that if I do succumb to the muse’s calling then I can’t stop writing and whatever it is I HAVE TO DO that puts food on the table is forgotten. Ever have this dilemma?
Kate
Read, write and enjoy life!
Live Out of the Box
Hi Kim!
I enjoyed your post. You’re developing a very interesting style of writing. It seems to me that your academic training is helping you to present a good flow of ideas. And your writing inspiration is helping you to express them vividly. One thing I’ve had to learn is to write a little more conversationally. What helps is to use contractions, such as ‘it’s’ instead of ‘it is’. Maybe you could consider that?
Hi Divine Q!
I think you have described the action well. I’m just wondering about emotions. In the small excerpt I don’t get a sense of what she’s feeling. I had a look at the full version on your blog. But I’m still wondering about her emotions. I take from the last sentence that she was afraid of Marty before this incident.
Are you trying to imply that she is feeling numb? If so maybe you could maybe bring that out more. If she’s feeling fear, you might want to let the readers feel it with her.
As I said before, you have the knack of describing action vividly. As a reader, I would feel more empathy for your heroine if I could feel with her.
Hi Kate!
I loved your excerpt! Lots of great details. The one I liked best was keeping the teeth in her purse. The last sentence really sets up tension. I definitely want to know what happened on Ryan’s deathday. Keep me posted!
Hi Bryan!
Your film sounds interesting. I was wondering whether the four people interact at some stage or not.
Hi Hannah!
I liked the bit you offered and was keen to read more but the link didn’t work.
Hi Jim!
I enjoyed your golf piece. I see it was ranked number 1. Well done!
Thank you for your great participation this week on WTD. I enjoyed reading your fine comments.
Thanks for taking the walk, Mary, I’m honored.
I did have a look at Hannah’s blog, though the URL looked odd (most Blogs don’t use the “www” – but the link worked).
Lot’s a witty and wild stuff there, and reading down I really enjoyed this from Hannah:
“The strange thing is that when you really are in the zone, when your fingers are flowing in perfect harmony with your thoughts, if you start thinking “oh wow I’m totally in the zone, hot damn that was a great metaphor,” you plummet straight back into the pit. Don’t overthink it. You can look back later.
Which is to say: I don’t really like writing. I like having written.
The satisfaction of looking back over a whole literary landscape you’ve crafted stone by stone totally… rocks. But the creative unconscious is a finicky creature who hates nothing more than the over-intellectual analysis that peppered so many of my best college papers. I’ve been reading a lot of ‘writers on writing’ and everybody seems to agree on one seemingly simple thing: stop trying so hard, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, just do it.”
I’ve lost track of some of the rest of you, and apologize for not offering you anything constructive. See you next time?
OK, found one more that was fun and fast:
Kate, your SS about Emma – with its intrigueing title – can’t help but lure in your reader. Enjoyed your excerpt very much and have to agree with Mary – what happens?? More, more!
~Jim (back to the grind now, and behind one WTD Guest posting, too!)
RU,
I like your vingette but would like to suggest that you split the first sentence into two – it was confusing and I have a peeve about things happening at the same time [there's a name for it that I can't recall]. It will be tighter as well.
I wasn’t fond of the way you kept referring to ‘father’. If it has no capital surely it is ‘my father’ and if it is a name you give him it should have a capital letter [you did that only once]. It also gave a feeling of distance and estrangement – was that deliberate? It’s just that there was warmth in the dialogue [where the character calls him 'Dad'] but the constant reference to ‘father’ was very chilly.
I really like the father’s dialogue – he came across as a lovely character and a reason someone would sleep on the floor for him.
Jaffa
Hey all!
I’ve been following Write to Done for about 2 months now as I look towards a career in sports journalism. I can only provide a link to my work (see website link) where I write about all kinds of things in the sports world. I live in Toronto so issues surrounding our teams show up more.
I am also currently working on a book. I have no idea what will ever happen with it but it is based on the Christian story of Christ’s crucifixion told from the perspective of Barabbas the prisoner through letters between him and other characters and diary entries while he is in prison.
Everyone here has amazing work. I have been very captivated by all the excerpts. Can’t wait to hear more! Thanks everyone
Hi Jim and Mary,
Thanks a lot for your encouraging comments! And to Mary for loving the bit about the ‘teeth’. As promised here’s more from SS, sorry to keep you hanging. Don’t worry, it’s all G-rated. Any feedback would be great:
Ryan was a schizophrenic in _____’s House, a private institution for mental patients abandoned by their rich relatives who cannot bear the public humiliation of carting them off to the asylums. Nobody knew his background, where he had come from or who his wealthy benefactor was. He often claimed he was not long in this world and never did belong in it and that someday he would go back there.
Emma admitted there was something in Ryan that scared her. He was young enough with unruly hair and wild flashing blue eyes. Perhaps it was the unique symmetry of his features that lend him the rare possession of an otherworldly air. The delicately pinched nose, the flawless ivory skin that had never so much felt the friendly burn of the sun, the curious sharp tips of his ears and the startlingly red mouth as dark as crushed bleeding roses. He often had a sated wolf’s expression that was contemplating its next meal. And when Emma wasn’t looking, he would sometime send sly and cunning looks her way.
He was her subject for her Semantics class project. She was close to finishing it now and cannot wait for her graduate studies to be over.
That was why she didn’t mind when Ryan invited her for his deathday.
“I’ve been clean for many months now,” he said after expressing his delight at her appearance in his party. “I think it’s time.”
–To be continued.
Read the rest of the excerpt to G-ratedness and beyond! : a href=”../2008/10/02/sex-with-fairies-excerpt-and-social-bookmarking-bar/”>Sex with Fairies Excerpt
—-
I’m happy with all the work the other writers have posted. Keep it up!
@ MATTC: Your Christian book sounds interesting especially since it’ll be in letter form. I’d like to see what happens in his head during that time. I suppose we won’t be seeing it in the Aramaic language? ;)
Yikes! Sorry, forgot to place one important part of the code:
Here it is:
Sex with Fairies Excerpt
or just click this link to continue the rest of the excerpt:
http://ksyu.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/sex-with-fairies-excerpt-and-social-bookmarking-bar
@Mary:
Thanks for the comment and I’ll look at contractions and other ways to make my writing more casual. I appreciate your suggestion. Blogging is a new medium for me.
I am really enjoying this website, so thank you again.
@Jim:
I liked the quote: I don’t really like writing. I like having written.
I can empathize with that a lot, especially some days. :)
Here is the fopening of my book “Locals” –
On a bright humid morning in June, a sixteen year old girl named Deborah Garrison stepped off the boat from Hyannis, walked ahead of her mother down into the crowded summer streets and set everything in motion.
As it happened, I was at the Steamship Authority that morning, picking up my Assistant Chief, Haden Krakauer. We actually saw the girl, in her ripped jeans and tank top, but all I said to Haden was, “That one’s going to be trouble soon.”
She didn’t seem special; just one more pretty girl on a summer island crowded with them. And she didn’t actually do anything; nothing that happened later was her fault. The simple, irreducible fact of her presence was enough. Even years later, the consequences and implications of Debbie’s arrival seem bizarre and implausible, far too much to balance on those thin, sunburned shoulders.
It was like setting off an avalanche with a sigh.
The next time I noticed Debbie, it was two weeks later, at a beach party in Madaket where my casual prediction was already coming true.
Man, I wrote two books (about 10-11 years ago) and I doubt I’ll ever do it again. The advances were decent; the sales were only so-so. After calculating all the time and effort that went into those books, I might have done better than working at Micky D’s.
Yep, the thrill of being published was extraordinary, at least the first time. I have both book covers framed and on the walls of my family room. I seldom point them out to guests, but I hope they’ll notice them.
For now, I’ll stick to blogging about Web writing/editing and SEO. It gets me paying work writing other stuff.
If anyone’s still around here, I’d love for you to read an excert from my new, unpublished novel at my blog. It is all about music, traveling, love, hope and taking chances. Yeah, it all works out in the end.
http://duluonzo.blogspot.com/
I used dissertation-help.co.uk to buy my daughter some help. She’d had private tutors before, but it was always difficult to quantify what standard they were, with dissertation-help.co.uk we knew that we were getting a certain quality.
_____________________________________
http://www.dissertation-help.co.uk/