Some singers want the audience to love them. I love the audience. ~ Luciano Pavarotti
A guest post by Doug Armey of The New Wealth Paradigm.
Luciano Pavarotti was one of the most beloved singers of our age. He sang with a clear tenor voice combined with a commanding stage presence that enthralled his audiences. He was dynamic in his leading opera roles. Yet he possessed a magical quality that drew audiences to him magnetically. (Click here to watch Pavarotti with Liza Minelli )
By some critics he was not the best of all singers. He was judged not the greatest of all opera actors. Yet he sold more recordings than perhaps any other opera singer in history. Even people who had never attended an opera bought his records and went to his concerts. And millions mourned when he passed away.
In the same way, the blogging world is filled with a lot of good writers. Many can craft a sentence well, put together a good headline and discuss interesting topics. Yet some launch in stardom while many stay in the shadows or drift away. Bloggers like Leo Babauta , Mary Jaksch , Seth Godin , Don Miller , and Tim Ferriss come from oblivion to build a group of devoted followers on the web. Their readers wait anxiously for their blogs not wanting to miss one.
For all of us bloggers, particularly newer ones, blogging can feel both exhilarating and debilitating at times.
We have highs when someone important gives us positive feedback. Then feel depressed when it seems few others notice. We’re encouraged when we receive a positive comment. Then feel rejected when we’re criticized. We ask ourselves at times, “Does anyone really care? If I stopped blogging would it make any difference?”
We think, “How can I build this blog into a large devoted following?” Yet, sometimes, it seems the harder we try the more elusive the goal. The more we push to build subscribers the more we drive readers away.
All superstars have a quality about them that draws people magnetically.
When you hear them sing or read their blog they make you feel they are speaking just to you. They understand what you’re going through. They give you insights and new ways of looking at the world. They pass on encouragement just when you need it. And answer questions you thought only you were asking.
Pavarotti says it about singing. It’s just as applicable in blogging. Is our focus on trying to get others to love us? Or is our focus on loving our readers?
Most of the world’s great religions have a similar golden rule. “Give to others what you would like to receive.”
Blogging is very public. We lay out thoughts and abilities for all to judge. Kind of like running around naked I hear. And we all want people to like us. That’s normal enough. But then we start worrying, “Will people like this piece? Is it humorous enough? Insightful enough? Will people think I’m dumb for saying this? Am I being too outspoken?”
This self consciousness creates distance in our writing. Our posts become stiff and formal. They can take on a zombie like quality. And our readers won’t connect with us. The exact opposite of what we want.
So what do we do? How do we “love our audience” to connect with them?
A few practical ideas that help me.
First, as you write literally focus on a reader. Picture in your mind someone sitting across from you that you are talking to. As I write and edit I visualize a friend sitting in the chair across from my desk. Then I just talk naturally with him or her. My fingers simply record what I say.
This brings a conversational nature to our writing. We connect with our readers. We share in a way that’s genuine and our readers sense it’s coming from our heart.
Second, empathize with your readers. Talk about things you are discovering in your journey that have helped you. What are you interested in? What are you learning?
You’ll come across as a fellow journeyer rather than an authority giving commands. We’re all in this thing called life together. As boggers we’re simply sharing with our readers what has helped us. That’s an attracting quality.
Third, give your best stuff every time. One thoughtful meaningful post per week is superior to five mediocre ones in my opinion. Fill your posts with incredibly helpful, useable material written in a way that encourages your readers.
When readers know every post will have information that will make their lives better they’ll look forward to what you write.
Fourth, write with passion.
Leo Babauta recently said in an interview, “Write what you’re passionate about, and let that passion shine through.”
What are you learning that you are sharing with your spouse or best friend? What can you just not shut up about? Share that with your readers. Sometimes it’s hard. People might wonder about your ideas. So what? Not everyone is going to think we’re swell anyway. So just share it. See what happens.
Passion transforms our writing. It changes stale information into enthusiastic sharing. And that’s amazingly attractive.
I love what Mary Jaksch says in the About pages of this blog “Write to Done.” Her purpose for this blog pictures the mood A-list bloggers create that attract readers to them.
“It’s like a comfortable roadside inn on the writer’s path where we can find companionship, encouragement.”
Isn’t that really what we all want for our blogs?
Try the Pavarotti principle. Let me know what happens.
If this post has helped you please leave a comment. And share it with a friend. I appreciate it.
Doug Armey is a writer and financial adviser who writes about building true wealth and living richly at The New Wealth Paradigm.
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Hot tip: Check out the A-List Blogger Club. We are going to open a few places shortly.
The A-List Blogger Club has been the best investment I’ve made in my blog. Fantastic webinars, terrific articles, helpful forums and personal coaching. Everything from technical know-how and writing technique to learning how to land guest posts like this one. They have the whole package. It’s a unique opportunity to learn from the best. I would not be where I am today with my blog without it.
~ Douglas Armey of The New Wealth Paradigm.
“Picture in your mind someone sitting across from you that you are talking to. As I write and edit I visualize a friend sitting in the chair across from my desk. Then I just talk naturally with him or her. My fingers simply record what I say.”
I love this. Now I just need to remember to do it! Great post Doug.
Alison
It really helps us stay natural and connected.
Thanks
Doug, I think some of the simplest advice is often the best. You write “Sometimes it’s hard. People might wonder about your ideas. So what? Not everyone is going to think we’re swell anyway. So just share it. See what happens.”
This is great advice. Thanks for the awesome article. Now, off the try the Pavarotti principle.
Karen:
We all open ourselves up when we write publicly. But that’s what helps us connect.
Thanks
Awesome post Doug. I love seeing what this has turned into. I think the most powerful point you make (well there are a lot) is to lead with passion. As Tony Robbins always says “Live with Passion!”. There is no other way to do it. And when you do, it is so obvious and contagious to others. Passion is the only thing that can really make someone great and inspire others to be great. Magnificent in fact. I feel like if you focus on passion (for helping others, for doing good, for making the world better–whatever it is) then your other points will be take care of naturally. I recently wrote a post on The Beginner’s Guide to Being Congruent and I think congruency is what can help lead us to passion–really understanding why we are hear, what our purpose, strengths and mission are.
Excellent work!
Scott
Scott:
I love your focus on making the world a better place. This is where all true passion comes from.
Thanks,
Doug, this post is very inspiring. I’ve been thinking about re-grouping this weekend and this is a perfect way to approach this kind of exercise. Go back to my readers, my passion and take a look at what I’ve been going on and on about with my friends and nattering endlessly about to my husband. Yes, his eyes glaze over sometimes but heck, he has to live with me. The point is, I have been going on and on and nattering and that is food for my blog. Thanks for all the inspiration, Doug. And welcome to the nudist camp.
Katie
It certainly does feel that way doesn’t it.
Thanks for the comment.
Thanks for a great post. I love what you say about focusing on loving our readers. Here’s my 1 Corinthians version of writing with love for readers– “If I write, but have not not love, I am an empty fountain pen…”
Esther:
I love your adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13. It is right on.
Thanks
Hi Doug,
Ah, Pavarotti! I loved listening to him while cooking. He was larger than life — in many ways! We should all infuse our writing with his same passion and intensity. Thank you for the nice link to my interview with Leo! Wonderful post.
Barrie
Barrie
It was a great interview as were the others.
Thanks,
Doug
Hi.
Thank you for this post and it rings so true. To have a special quality that draws people is what superstars are made of. They live from their hearts. And like you say, what matters is ultimately to connect. Honestly, deeply, connect. It boils down to being honest and truly sharing. Love your tips as well. Thank u and god bless
Uzma
Thanks,
Doug
Hi Doug,
Great article. I know the biggest setback people often face is not believing in themselves. I was hesitant to create my own website because I thought there are so many more people who are better at this, why would people want to hear from me? Why do I matter? I found once you decide to do something opportunities happen. You don’t have to be the best in your field you just have to do the best that you can. In my case, it doesn’t hurt that people in the blogging community happen to want to share their knowledge to help others to grow.
I look forward to reading more articles from you!
LNicole
Thanks,
Doug
Very inspirational Doug! …and inspiration with practical tips WOW!
“self consciousness creates distance in our writing” – thank you for writing this – it’s a great reminder of why we need to write it anyway.
Aileen
I’m glad you found it encouraging and helpful.
Thanks,
Doug
This article was very helpful Doug.
To me the most important one is #1 having a conversation and connecting with the reader. It is something I try to work on with every post.
Thank you for the simple and effective guidelines.
Manal
I’m glad it was helpful.
Thanks,
Doug
Hi Doug,
I so enjoyed your guest post here. You’ve just hit so many key points right on the head – I don’t know where to start.
I ran a writers group for 5 years and every time we had a new writer to the group we’d always say the same thing: Write as if you’re speaking to a close friend at the coffee shop and it’s just the two of you. Your tip is so powerful! If I had just one tip to give to a writer – it would be that one.
I also love how you state that our self-consciousness comes through and creates distance when we write. I hadn’t thought of that – but now that you’ve mentioned it I feel how true it is.
Thank you so much for all these great nuggets of wisdom on writing.
Angela
Thanks
Doug
Hi Doug,
Love your readers and write with passion. How could that possibly go wrong? I loved your article.
Thank you for sharing.
Mae
Mae
It truly unleashes great things.
Thanks,
Doug
Hmn…I really feel the part where you said, “We’re encouraged when we receive a positive comment. Then feel rejected when we’re criticized.” I think the major reason for this is that some of us have not built a community around our blog.
Love the ideas you shared that have helped you. In my own opinion, the summary of everything is: Be real and personal. That’ll go a long way to help any blogger connect with his audience.
Great post! Well-done!
Seun Kilanko
Seun:
When we are real and personal we find our voice. And that shows genuine care. Very attracting.
Thanks,
Doug
Thanks for sharing these insights. A lot of great suggestions here. I used to have a radio show and find that connecting through my writing in my blog is quite similar to connecting through a microphone in my talk show, speaking directly to that one special listener/reader. You expressed this perfectly.
Alexandra:
Small world. I did a radio show for 7 years too and yes it is similar in many ways. Thanks for your insight.
Doug