Comments on: The Importance of Being Trivial

By: hermes handbags

hermes handbags — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:45:50 +0000

I’m with Chris. I’d like to see a version 1.5 that blends the two. V1 could use some more detail, but I think v2 is cluttered.

By: Andy Chilton

Andy Chilton — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:37:01 +0000

Too true. Sometimes those extra details provide that extra something, just to make the mouth water.

By: Omar

Omar — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:57:15 +0000

I might try this

By: Deana Wilmink-Martina

Deana Wilmink-Martina — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:05:08 +0000

How interesting, I thought that this is a big problem for me. I tend to do just what you are advising here.

I find that I do give way too many details and that the posts I plan and draft are way too long. My problem is that I did procrastinate with launching my new post and I have different posts that I need to cut in parts. My uncertainty is also caused because English is not my native language, but I choose to write my blog in English because that’s the most read language on the internet. (At least that’s what I guess).

My husband is the opposite of how me, he seems to be able to say things in so much less words than I need to. I guess that’s also what unconsciously I try to copy.
But that is just not me.

Although I know that you have to let your content be as long as you need to communicate to the reader what you want to communicate; I prefer to keep blog posts as short as possible.

By: Flory

Flory — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:08:46 +0000

Interesting post. I like the details of the second version, but I agree that it is too wordy.

Should “Fall” be capitalized? I thought seasons do not get capped unless they are at the beginning of a sentence.

By: Scott Carpenter

Scott Carpenter — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:56:39 +0000

Okay, here goes! Keeping in mind Ellyn’s point that the context is important. As I look at the versions more, I think the first read more as fiction to me, which made the second seem overly wordy. I like the stuff about the Mail Pouch company, so my version ends up still with much of that, making it seem more like a travel article to me. (Maybe removing the last sentence works better as fiction for me.) :-)

I drove from Roanoke, Virginia to Chillocothe, Ohio, taking the back roads, enjoying the Fall leaves. Along the way I saw a bunch of those old Mail Pouch barns. These started as ordinary barns, but over the past century the West Virginia Mail Pouch Chewing Tobacco company transformed them into roadside advertisements, enticing farmers with the proposition, “If you let us paint a Mail Pouch advertisement on the side of your barn, we’ll paint the rest of your barn for free!” At one time there were 20,000 Mail Pouch barns along the roads in 22 states, urging drivers to “Chew Mail Pouch Tobacco.”

By: Mary Jaksch

Mary Jaksch — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:32:06 +0000

Hi Ellyn, Scott, Chad – what about rewriting the para for us? Let’s have version 3, 4 and 5!

By: Ellyn Carter

Ellyn Carter — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:18:53 +0000

It’s the distinction between details that enrich and details that clutter, I suppose. The first is uninteresting, the second is better– but it has perhaps too much. It could be pared down a bit. It also depends on the context. If these were from a non-fiction travel story it would make sense. From fiction, however, I think it might just be a bit out of place.

In Dan Brown’s books for instance, he has a bit of a habit of adding details that are totally unnecessary and awkward. Details are great– when they work.

By: Scott Carpenter

Scott Carpenter — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:35:19 +0000

I’m with Chris. I’d like to see a version 1.5 that blends the two. V1 could use some more detail, but I think v2 is cluttered.

By: Chad

Chad — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:44:57 +0000

Chris…really?

The second version is WAY better in my opinion. Not even close.