This is first draft time right now, so I’m really concentrated on keeping the momentum and writing and stopping myself from editing.

Two short chapters:

http://bloodstreamcity.blogspot.com/2008/01/strepsiptera.html

http://bloodstreamcity.blogspot.com/2008/09/dismembership.html

(Blogger now has backlinks – very similar to the trackback feature in Movable Type. Many blogs have stopped using trackbacks because…

(I’ll enjoy the writing more when I write my next one!)

The real hard part is getting the word out.

If anyone’s interested, the name of my book is “The Secrets to a Healthy Life.” (The link is in my name)

The reason you should read it? It’s not the same old wrong information. It’s a strategy that will truly make you feel and look healthier than ever before!

Thanks for the opportunity to promote my book, Mary & Leo!

@Stuart: “I stuck him in a sealed bucket with a mouse trap. I know it might be considered cruel, but I didn’t know what to do. I’m not a professional mouse killer.” I like these lines. Its quirky and feels just like something someone might do, not out of cruelty, but just because they’re faced with something that they have no idea how to handle. I can relate to that. To give the story more punch try removing the adverbs and I don’t think you need to list out the vitamins. I’d rather have more details about the mouse and the narrator.

@Karen: Cool, I also did NaNoWriMo in 2006 and 2007 too. But anyway your story idea: what compels Kate to turn down that dusty dirt road? I think if you answer that question you can bring some more ideas to your story. Oh, if you’re interested in plotting, I suggest reading Story by Robert McKee. I listened to half of it on an audiobook, and in the beginning of the book he breaks down the three act story and I found it enlightening and useful knowledge. It could help you with your plotting.

@SpaceAgeSage: The first line of your story does draw me in but then the pace slows down when we get to the characters. I know you’re trying to establish the characters, but I’m still thinking: what’s going on with those “two invisible forms.” Are they just the Secret Service guards? Or are they something more sinister? I want to get back to that and find out what happens next.

Thanks for the feedback for my story too. To the few people I’ve shown my stories too, I’ve heard the same comment come back about it. I want to try and show those internal feelings in what they’re doing, but I think being concise tends to cut that out for me. So I’m still looking for a good balance.

@WriterDad: Thanks for the feedback on my story. Your take definitely feels smoother than mine. I like that. It’s concise and to the point. I like that it makes the question in the middle of the paragraph stand out more. When I read that it reminded me of what SpaceAgeSage was commenting about in regards to my story – she wanted more of Alicia’s thoughts. Having the question stand out brings Alicia’s knowledge and hints at her thoughts as she’s observing the (mechanical) boy. I should use that technique more often.

I also like that your writing is enthusiastic too, and Wall-E was a great movie.

@Terri: You’ll definitely see the toymaker again since I choose that for the quest that Alicia would embark upon — the short stories that follow this one detail her meeting with the toymaker. I’m not sure if you’ll see the old man or the girl again, but I’ve left the short stories so opened-ended that I can come back to them later on.

I have a lot more of my stories here: http://www.cournesupremacy.com/tales-from-a-mechanical-bird/

I’d love to hear any comments and criticisms you have about any of them. I’ve also got a new one I’m working on, and now that crunch time is over at work, maybe I can publish that to my blog too!

@ James — I can sense the light, fun-loving touch you put to words. It can be hard to find the balance between too light and just right, though.

@Jayme — good post on passion, and like Writer Dad, crunching it into more digestible points helps the reader absorb it all.

@Angela — you have delightful way of writing about life and relationships.

@Sheila — the rush of certain writing spurts is fun. Hang in there and keep writing through the less fun times, too!

@ Terri — there is a genuineness to your work that comes from a deep heart.

@Alan McCoy — Liked your blog. You have an easy, comfortable relationship with words that makes your reading smooth and enjoyable.

@ Susan — I liked how you set the stage for death with talk of a garden — something filled with life. A little tighter writing will bring the reader in more.

@Adeena – sounds like good advice you have tucked away from all your experience. I say to watch multiple word usage, such as “week” in this sentence, “If my store, The Pot & Bead, were still open, then last week would have been the last week of summer camp and with school starting in another week or so, we’d be into the slow season.”

@ Laura Jeanette – I never thought of the writing process that way! Very descriptive.

See at http://dwaynephillips.net/shortstories/

http://gpcastellano.splinder.com/post/17281997/Dolomia+in+polvere+4X

http://intraisass.splinder.com/post/17282006/DOLOMIA+IN+POLVERE+4X

http://laurajeanette.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/arousal/

@Vhalkyrie: I’m in the same boat with you regarding sci-fi. I have tons of ideas and half drafted concepts and after finishing the book mentioned above, hope to get going on them too.

:)
-Adeena